An American author named Shawn James this week wrote a controversial essay titled ‘Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers’ – detailing 15 reasons why men should not date single mothers. It’s got people talking. Read below and tell us what you think…(If you’re a single mother, you won’t like this..:-))
1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because
2. YOU are NOT a priority. Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.
3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER. A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.
4. Emotionally Unavailable- Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.
In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.
5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE. A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.
Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.
6. The kids are working AGAINST YOU When dealing with a single mother you also deal with Kids. Kids who still in their little heart of hearts think that Dad will come back and love them.
Seriously, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.
7. Those kids will HATE YOU. They will act out to keep you from getting closer to mommy. They will make accusations against you to get you in trouble. Again, it’s just not worth dealing with the bullsh*t to get with a female. There are four billion women in the world. You can find a quality female who doesn’t carry all this baggage or give you this much grief.
8. Entitled attitude Single mothers think because she had a baby out of wedlock the world owes her EVERYTHING. And she thinks she’s the one who deserves the best. Even though she’s usually collecting welfare, food stamps, or child support, in eyes she’s still supposed to be treated like she’s a queen because she popped a kid out of her v*gina.
In their deluded distorted vision of the world Men are still supposed to take her out to the finest restaurants and buy them lots of expensive stuff. And he’s supposed to take care of her kids too, buying them whatever they want while taking a blind eye to their bad behavior.
9. Distorted self-image Single mothers still thinks she’s as sexy like she was before she had a baby. Only she doesn’t understand how her body has changed. In some cases for the worse.
Single mothers are the type to try to squeeze themselves into sexy outfits like low-rise jeans and cropped T-shirts to show off their belly button, not seeing the muffin top and stretch marks squeezing out over the top of their pants. They’re the type to stuff themselves into slinky spandex dresses, (not aware of that gut, and the cellulite on their asses) and head out to the club. She thinks men are supposed to run up on her offering to buy her drinks. And because a few thirsty simps step to her, she thinks she’s still got it. But the only people who want what she has to offer are scavengers at the bottom of the social scene.
10. Always the victim. Single Mothers never take responsibility for their actions. The situation they’re in is always the fault of that “no good man”, “these damn kids” their mother or someone else. They never take any time to do any self-examination or make any efforts to change their lives. They’re still looking for some Rich Incredibly Handsome Man™ to put on a cape and play Captain Save-A-Hoe™, sweep her off her feet and take her out of the troubling situation she helped make.
11. Jekyll & Hyde Personality. A single mother will be the sweetest thing when a man first dates her, but a few months into a relationship she turns into a NUTJOB. A man will usually see glimpses of this when she chastises her kids when he first meets them. During that meeting, she’ll yell at them and bully them to get them to act right while praising a man like he’s an angel.
It’s all an act. Heaven will turn into Hell around the six-month mark.
Once a single mother gets a man settled into her life it’s not common for her to start verbally abusing him and mocking him as she projects all that pent-up rage from those previous failed relationships onto him. And it’s usually around this point that most men realize why this woman is single and why it’s time for him to hit the exit door.
12. Drama Queen. Because a single mother always sees herself as a victim of society, she’s always talking about her problems. And she always has new trouble to bring everyone. There’s never a good day in the life of a single mother because there’s always some new crisis about to emerge in her life.
The reason single mothers need the drama is because it makes them feel important. It makes people pay attention to them. And when Captain-Save-A-Hoe™ is doting on them trying to solve their problems it makes them feel an artificial sense of value. They need that value to deflects people’s attention from how pathetic their lives actually are.
Manipulative In most cases, a single mother has no interest in a man she’s dating. In a lot of cases, she’s just using a guy as a pawn.
13. In most cases she’s dating to make her Baby Baddy jealous. Deep down in her heart of hearts she believes that if she’s seen with someone else who sees her as valuable that he’ll see her as valuable and take her back.
In other cases when she’s not trying to get a rise out of Baby Daddy she’s playing the sympathy card™ using a guy to get gifts, free dinners, and free drinks out of him. To a single mother, The men in her lives are just human ATM machines where she whispers a sweet nothing in his ear like a PIN number and money comes out of his wallet.
And because she’s a drama queen who loves to play the victim, the Single mother plays to men’s emotions to get them to react in the way she wants. It’s not common for a single mother to tell her man about her baby daddy so he can go f!ght him. Or pit two baby daddies against each other. Many a man has wound up either dead or in prison because a single Mother played the victim card™.
14. Dishonest. A single mother is a LIAR. It’s how she gets what she wants. It’s how she manipulates people. It’s how she takes care of her kids. It’s how she survives in this world.
Single mothers lie. And they LIE ALL THE TIME. They lie to men about their age, their height, their weight, how many kids they have, the job they do.
On top of the lies they tell to others They lie to themselves. They lie about how beautiful they are. They lie telling themselves they’re still a catch. They lie telling themselves they still have a chance with a good man. They lie telling themselves that their lives will be happily ever after one day.
The horrible truth is without those lies most of those single mothers would realize how pathetic their lives are. How they have no options in the dating scene. That they’re at the bottom of the barrel in the dating scene and the only men who want them are pathetic Manginas and thirsty Simps.
15. Carries Baggage, baggage and more baggage A single mother has more issues than Time and Newsweek combined. And when she’s looking for a man, she’s not looking for an equal caring partner. She’s looking for a Pullman Porter™ to take care of her kids and clean up her messes with her children’s’ father. Brothers, don’t let yourself get sized up for the white jacket and the bow tie!
Anyway, dealing with a single mother is like walking through a minefield. After several months of being involved with her, it leaves a man anxious and tense because he doesn’t know where to step that won’t lead to an explosion that k!lls him.
That’s why Real Men avoid single mothers like a disease.
Real men understand life is too short to put up with someone’s drama and their emotional baggage. We only have a limited time on God’s Earth and who wants to spend it being a Pullman Porter cleaning up someone else’s messes. As I stated before in a previous blog, let that woman take her run over Jimmy Choos and clean up her own mess. She made her bed, now let her lie in the wet spot.
Don’t date single mothers and don’t waste your time with them. There are four billion women in this world. If you’re patient, you’ll find a good one.
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Single moms are the worst!
I agree 100 percent least you had the guts to voice it and inform those poor guys out there thanks you have saved many men agreed many single beautiful women with no baggage
Whenever I go out on a blind date and a woman mentions her children, I simply ask her if the children are hers biologically or not. If she says anything else besides “she used an anonymous sperm donor” and/or “she adopted the children” and/or “the father of her children died”, I walk away from her as fast as I can. I absolutely REFUSE to become involved in any situation where another man could, in theory, come back into the picture (it is hard enough dealing with a child-free woman who is all hung up on her former lovers). It is not the children that I have a problem with, because I actually adore children (in fact, I love my nephew and my niece as if they were my own). I just do not want to run the risk of getting into a physical confrontation with the biological father (I have a lot of “rage” inside and it would likely turn into a “Thunderdome” sort of thing). I wish I could be less “jealous” and “paranoid” because there are a lot of single mothers out there who are even more beautiful than their child-free counterparts, but unfortunately, that is just who I am. And no matter what, I will NEVER change my stance on the matter, even if that means I will remain totally alone for the rest of my days.
Im 42, $200K+ income, beautiful home and lots of toys. I have always dated singled girls 7-14 years under than me with little issues. The only time I got into a long-term relationship with a single mom it was a nightmare that nearly ruined my life. Every reason mentioned above was giving me PTSD reading them and thinking about that single mom, she was the perfect Chameleon in the beginning, tell me everything I wanted to hear, ensuring me how she was anti-drama, had a high paying career, no ex drama, her kids were angels. The furthest thing could have been from the truth, she was always dead broke and I ended up flipping the bill for everything, her “high pay career” ended up being a $20/hr job, her kids were little monsters and her ex-husband was a POS, between him beating a dead beat dad, her kids being monsters, her friends being sluooot’s, her being broke and all the endless drama she brought, I naively stuck around way to long but learned some hard lessons. I recently went on some dates, all four women were single moms with the same red flags and thankfully I declined sex or second dates. Kids is a 100% deal breaker for me now because I already know its all the same story. There is plenty of single women in the world. Do not ever be Captain Save A Hoe because there is no medals for that.
This article sounds like it was written by a child. I know many single moms and these types seem to be the exception not the rule. I am a single mother and I am not bothered whether a man wants to date me or not. I would say all of these are lies regarding most single mothers. For example: I make more than 90% of men so definitely not looking for an ATM. I am more financially secure than most men. My children are private school educated by myself (no child support). I am an empathetic Godly women as are many single moms (no narcissism). What I find with many men is they are adult babies that lack commitment and have an inability to actually be a man. Every single person has baggage of some sort so that is a mute point. Also the suggestion single moms don’t have time is also false. I am usually the one available because I schedule my time more efficiently. The narcissistic Jekyll and Hyde personality will pertain to more men because overall men are most likely to be abusive and narcissistic. You may find a single women without kids isn’t automatically “Better” or more successful. Food for thought.
This. The whole time I was reading, I couldn’t help but think “don’t guys say the same crap about the single ones too? Don’t a lot say this about the wives they do choose to have kids with?” Exact same complaints lol.
I also don’t know any women who truly fit this bill either. The only broads I could imagine doing that are the young or very immature, materialistic or mentally unstable types you’d find at the bar/ party… kids left with a relative. Then again, if that’s the type of females guys put their energy towards, I guess they get what comes with the territory.
Maybe they should try making better choices? Lol!
But seriously, the contempt for all things child-related regarding this list & things I’ve heard men talk about is so very telling. If men are so against the changing female body, limitations & children as a whole from the beginning, they’re still gonna resent it later with anyone else. Single mom vs child free is truly kinda moot in the long run.
Guys come with loads of their own baggage, drama, expectations, games & disappearing acts. Even when they have their own kids lol. Why would a woman with half a brain be “ultra-needy” after a dude who is likely to be unreliable in the long term anyways? The logic doesn’t really jive.
I had to laugh at “cancels & changes schedules over the kid” complaints. Most moms in general know how to navigate the schedules. Single moms figure out how to make time for what we feel is worth our while & a child emergency is a damn good excuse that no one ever questions. So if it happens *that often*, “bro, she’s just not that into you” or she’s doing her own version of running from the red flags.
Thank you ann! And yes. My girls get good grades act better than most adults and have more respect. These guys just don’t want to grow up and act like babies for the rest of their lives. I have accepted this society is awful. And yes their dad lied to me about who and what he was and very narcissistic we were together 17 years i endured him bankrupting me i made more than him and then cheated on me repeatedly cause he didn’t get enough attention. I walked away tried to stay for the girls. And we are doing so much better now did it all on my own and no child support from him at all he refuses to pay or see them more than once a month so he can do drugs not work and have various women that is the life he choosed over them. i don’t date anymore these guys are full of drama and worse than then all the women i have in my life.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 hahahaha says the single Man…….
I’m 43 and I’ve never been married …..by choice
How arrogant the average male is lol..I had no idea 😂 😂😂 thanks for the enlightenment this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a loooong time.
This sounds like some plot for a BAD made for TV movie.
I’m sorry ……I dated like EVERYONE before I had my son …….and I was not impressed
WHY???? Mainly when your a beautiful woman men act NUTS. True. Rich guys are the WORST. I was a dancer * owned businesses
Am a celebrity sibling to a hella good Man xoxoxo
Most men especially with $$$$ so over value their wallet like we’re all Gold diggers they end up controlling and suspect of women that we just want their $$$$
Grow up lol. Because most marriages end in divorce which means YOU are probably some poor woman’s EX. Hate to break it to all you middle aged heart throbs and even 30 somethings……uhhhh EVERYONE has baggage.
And if your over 25 and been around everyone’s a used product lol.
Geez …….and this behavior and ANGER toward vulnerable women and children????
You just put out a BATMAN PSA for ALL women *single moms or not that YOU are saying
Children who are traumatized are *monsters
Your scary and should NOT EVER have sex God forbid you become someone’s father or EX husband because sir no sane woman would go woman whose mentally stable * educated and balanced would near such an aggressive sounding man. Prayers for you and what ever poor woman you impregnate.
Way to let everyone woman know that their bodies are disgusting. There are TEENAGE single mothers reading this and you probably just caused a child who birthed a child to jump off a bridge.
No accountability for this cruel opinion and the effects it could have on others.
Only a narcissist and bulky would EVER publish this
*SIGNED A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ADVOCATE
*PTSD ADVOCATE
*CHILD ABUSE ADVOCATE
your a cave man and now if you do get married your wife will know what you think of her postpartum body ……
and you do have a MOTHER YOU CAME OUT OF A WOMAN you are BLESSED if you had a father and he didn’t DIE or go to war there are MANY reasons why woman are alone with children.
Small minded
Small heart
BIG MOUTH 👄👄👄👄👄👄
STAY AWAY FROM ALL 😺😺😺 😺😺😺😺
your abusive ***********
Looks like someone hit a nerve. The above statements are true for most single moms. It doesn’t matter if there are exceptions. The fact of the matter is that single childfree in general, are reasonable in their position to want to date someone with a kidfree lifestyle. Men don’t care how much money women make because they are used to women not sharing their resources, you’ll see women making same or more money and STILL wanting the man to pay for dates, as if money had anything to do with chivalry. And how about this: What I find instead is many women are adult babies that lack accountability for their actions and only want equality when it benefits them, shaming men for having a perfectly legit preference to avoid single moms, who in general do NOT have carefree time as single women, that is very very TRUE. And just because there is an exception to the rule does not mean the rule does not apply for the great majority. And it doesn’t matter how much you believe abusive and narcissistic behavior comes more likely from men, this is not a competition of who does it more, it still applies to women, and to a great deal. Divorce cases favor women; no wonder men are reluctant to commit to an agreement with harsh penalties and consequences for them, from not being able to see their children, losing their homes and most of their income. You really sound like a butt hurt teenager
I think it is clear the the author has experienced some pretty deep disappointment and pain at the hands of a single mom. It seems to me as if he got involved with a woman that he initially saw as a hero, seeing past the stretchmarks and “muffin top” seeing a woman who was fierce in heart for her child. I would guess he romanticized the idea of swooping into rescue her. Yet, in doing so thought maybe his casual comments on her parenting, clothing, habits and family were “in her best interest”. Not taking accountability for the fact that the expectations he had for this woman were based upon his initial daydream of what it would be, a Disney collage of a poor, sweet woman in desperate need of a strong prince to save her.
There may be truth to some of what his perception is.
But, at the end of the day, truth is truth. You cannot harp on what another person could or should be if you can’t suck it up and realize your triggers evolve around the expectations you have that do not get met. Drop the judgement, be legit, be honest and above all, perspective is everything.
Look at all these butthurt single moms coming out of the woodwork to defend their crappy life choices. These single moms defending their poor life decisions take no accountability for their own mistakes. Yay! You go girl! We rock! Single moms unite!. Parasites leeching off society. They practice on each guy they meet, absorb and take what they can get just for the next sucker to fix them.
I will NOT assume the financial or emotional responsibility for any children that I had nothing to do with bringing into this world PERIOD. And in the majority of cases the father and his parents are still going to be involved with these children. I don’t need the “drama” or the “trauma” of this. The divorce rate for blended families (a marriage when one or both partners bring children into the marriage) hovers around ~70-75%. I can get better odds in a game of chance in Vegas