United States (Mckoy’s News) – Mirinda Boob Conspired With Boyfriend Ronald Heichel to Kill Her Husband: Mirinda Boob told her friend Ronald Heichel that her husband, Sam Boob, was abusing her. Heichel, Sam’s coworker, gallantly threatened to kick his ass. That was enough for her to fall into Heichel’s arms, and the two began to carry on an affair…
As the romance blossomed, they decided it might be wise to forcibly remove Sam from the picture, seeing as how affairs are easier to conduct when the guy you’re cheating on is dead. Sam also held a life insurance policy that could fund their continued bonerosity.
So in August of last year, the illicit couple began planning to have Sam whacked. They began meeting with a third man, Kermit Butts, to plot the slaying. In exchange for his assistance, Butts — yes, that really is his name — would get $5,000 when the insurance policy paid out.
So on the morning of August 23, 2009, Butts drove Heichel to the Boob home on a scooter. (What does it say about modern killers when they all start driving scooters? Is this some kind of eco-criminal movement?)
That’s where Heichel lured Sam Boob into his own garage, then blasted him with a shotgun. Sam died instantly. Heichel and Boob then escaped and returned to work.
It would take just four days for police to arrest Mirinda and Heichel. It seems he had texted his sweetheart prior to the killing, telling her to go to church so she’d have and alibi. He’d also texted her to say he was hiding in the garage before he killed Sam, and that she should keep the kids inside the house so they didn’t get hurt when he ambushed her husband.
Alas, our two morons apparently never heard that detectives might want to examine their cell phone traffic during the investigation. An additional tap on Mirinda’s phone found more incriminating evidence following the murder.
Thanks to their kindly assistance, this may have been the easiest homicide investigation in Potter Township, Pennsylvania history. But at least our two morons weren’t rats. It would take police a year to discover Butts’ role the murder.
Concession workers at a nearby fair said they saw Heichel and Butts acting strangely when ambulance sirens neared after the slaying. Butts was finally arrested last week.
Mirinda and Heichel are scheduled for trial next month. But now that Sam’s out of the way and she’s looking at a murder conviction, it seems Mirinda has lost that loving feeling for Heichel. She’s claiming that Heichel whacked her husband without her knowledge.
Heichel, by contrast, asserts that his former lover is trying to pin the murder on him, when his only crime was delivering his special sauce to a lonely and abused wife.