Dear McKoy: Should I Marry This Young Boy?

Dear McKoy,

I have been in a relationship with a man from 2008. We broke up for three years because he said I needed to get my divorce as he doesn’t date married women.

I went to a Caribbean Island and he joined me. We lived together for almost 5 years and had a pretty little girl together who is just 2-years-old. I’m older than he is by 10 years and even though we’ve had our disagreements, he has never disrespected me for anyone and even passed up several opportunities for me. I hadn’t worked for 15 months at one point and he paid the bills, provided for me and our baby. He also gave me money to do whatever I want to.

We had an argument, I got upset and returned to Jamaica. He told me he’s coming home to marry me and he even sends me money and calls every day to talk and share his day and thoughts. I know no one is perfect and he often becomes jealous and gets on top of my nerves at times, but he is a good man.

Should I marry him and give him a chance? Or should I seize the opportunity to do a business marriage that a friend is arranging for me in order for me to get citizenship in America?


Response by Shena Carty: “You are chasing a dream! This man has sacrificed a lot for you. You have been through a lot and you have a child together. If at all possible and you care for him, try to make it work for your family. Obviously, age doesn’t bother him and he sees something in you, that no one else may see. Count your blessings. Be grateful and gracious that you have someone that wants to be there for you.

Business marriages can be the worst. The horror stories are plenty. You get married and you are imprisoned by this stranger and their demands. You could possibly face the worst situation, but it could work out. That decision is for you to make. As you are the one that would have to live with the consequences regardless.”

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