Dear McKoy: My Friend’s Flirty Husband is Making Me Feel Uncomfortable

Dear McKoy: I’m in a tricky situation and need some guidance. I have this friend who’s married, and I’ve been spending time with her and her husband. He’s always been a bit flirty, which I brushed off as his personality. Recently, though, he’s been sending me inappropriate messages and even a revealing picture.

I’ve tried to make it clear I’m not comfortable, and he apologized, but then he asked if I’d be interested if he wasn’t married. I stopped replying, but now I feel guilty. Should I tell my friend about this? I deleted all the messages, so I don’t have proof. I’m worried about ruining our friendship and having to see them often.

I’m not sure what to do – should I give him another chance, or should I distance myself? Help, please!

Sincerely,

Tasha – Kingston

Dear Tasha: Listen to your gut – if something feels off, it’s important to recognize that. Your friend’s husband’s actions are making you uncomfortable, and it’s totally fine to put your well-being first.

Consider having a direct and clear conversation with him, expressing that his messages and actions are inappropriate and are causing you discomfort.

It’s crucial to set boundaries and create some distance in your interactions. While this doesn’t necessarily mean cutting ties, limiting one-on-one interactions can provide a safer space for you. If the behavior persists, consider documenting any future incidents. Having a record may serve as evidence if needed and could help you better understand the extent of the situation.

Deciding whether to tell your friend about her husband’s behavior is a personal choice. Reflect on your friendship and whether she would want to know. If you choose to share, be honest about your feelings without being confrontational.

Above all, prioritize your safety and well-being. If the situation continues to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, consider seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or even authorities if necessary. Take care of yourself during this challenging time.

Best wishes –  McKoy