Dear Mckoy: I have been married for six years to a beautiful woman who I love very much. The only thing left to complete this marriage is a child. No matter how hard we try, my wife won’t get pregnant. Last year she suggested we take one of her aunt’s daughters off her hands, since she had five children and can hardly manage on her own. When she came to the house, I was surprised because she looked way mature than a sixteen-year-old. Things were going on well with her at the house, but took a bad turn for me when I succumbed to temptation and began a relationship with her. She told me that she missed her period last week so I decided to get her a pregnancy test. However, because she was due to go to visit her mother that same day she took it with her. When she got home she sent me a message that it was positive and that her mother found it in her room. Her mother called my wife and is demanding to know how we made that happen. I feel so guilty and I’m hoping she doesn’t let them know I’m the one who did it, at least until I can figure out what to do. I love my wife and don’t want to lose her.
Dear Mark: Many things can break a relationship, but a husband betraying and getting another woman pregnant is a lot for any marriage to bear. The issue with cheating isn’t simply the sex or the other person’s relationship; it’s the breach of trust. Your wife’s aunt sent her teenage daughter into your family thinking she would be protected and care for as she was your own. But you betrayed that trust, you and betrayed your wife. At this point, the best thing to do is come clean. If you love your wife tell her what happened and ask for forgiveness. We are all humans and can make mistakes. Tell her you are willing to go to seek counseling for your actions.
I know it is going to be tough for you but do it before they realize you are the one responsible. Also, you need to have a discussion with the young girl’s mother regarding her pregnancy and the next steps that need to be taken once the child is born.