Dear McKoy: I Feel like I’m Losing My Daughter to Her Step-Mother

Dear McKoy: My daughter has started to call her stepmother ‘mommy’ and it makes me cringe. She’s my only child and we’ve always had a close bond but since my ex-husband started to make her visit his house, I feel her slowly slipping from me. The stepmother tries to change her hairstyles and feeds her different things etc and I’m wondering if I’m incompetent or something. My ex facilitates this behaviour and that makes it much more frustrating. I told my friend and she says I’m overreacting and it’s not that serious but as a mother, I have to trust my instincts. I don’t want to keep her from her father but this charade certainly cannot continue. I’m grateful that the woman isn’t evil, but come on, that’s my child!
Tell me if you think I’m overreacting.

B.L.

Dear B.L.,

Firstly, make sure your assumptions are not based on ill feelings you have towards your ex. Sometimes, our feelings are our biggest enemies and it causes us to believe things are a certain way when they are really not. Secondly, I think you should talk to the woman and your ex and let them know certain things are unacceptable. Draw clear, respectful boundaries. Remember the child is the priority in the situation. 

McKoy