Dear McKoy: I Can’t Handle My Husband’s Obsession for Anal

Dear McKoy: My husband’s fixation on anal sex has become a source of ongoing frustration in our relationship. Despite numerous discussions, arguments, and even fights, he fails to grasp my discomfort. He believes that in relationships, we sometimes must do things we dislike to please our partners, which only adds to my frustration.

What’s more infuriating is his belief that my refusal to engage in anal sex indicates a lack of commitment to our relationship. He even goes as far as to suggest that if I derived pleasure from an act he dislikes, he would still partake to please me.

I’ve tried telling my husband how I feel, but he just thinks I’m being selfish. I’m stuck feeling frustrated, and I don’t know what to do. I need some help figuring out how to fix things and make sure both of us are happy and comfortable.

I. B.

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Dear I.B: Your husband’s insistence on anal sex despite your discomfort is causing ongoing frustration in your relationship. It’s clear he’s not respecting your boundaries, even after numerous discussions. Your aversion to anal sex is valid, and it’s important for him to understand and respect your feelings.

Express your concerns to him calmly and assertively, emphasizing the impact his behavior is having on you and your relationship. If he continues to dismiss your concerns, consider seeking couples therapy to address the issue together.

Remember, your feelings matter, and you deserve to be in a relationship where your boundaries are respected. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist as you navigate this challenge.