Dear McKoy: Found Out My Girlfriend Slept with Over a Dozen Men Before Me

Dear McKoy: Last month I found out my girlfriend had previously slept with over a dozen men before me. I would not have agreed to a relationship if I had realized the number was this high when we met. She’s 24, I’m 29 and we have been dating for three years. She told me she had three long-term relationships when we first met, so I believed her total wasn’t much higher. However, last month we went to a party at my friend’s house.  While she was having a conversation with our friends, she admitted to at least ten one-night stands. When we arrived home, I asked her how many people she’d slept with, and she told me she’d slept with 13. Whenever we try to have sex I can’t stop thinking about all the other men who have been with her. I’m thinking of leaving. Any Advice?

Christopher

Dear Christopher: If you care about your girlfriend, it’s probably best to leave the past behind. You may be put off by the fact that she has slept with these men in the past. You have the right to feel whichever way you choose about this information, but you also don’t have the right to be disrespectful about it. Do not condemn her because you’re worried or insecure. It’s best to love her and accept the fact that those days are over.

Someone who has had a lot of lovers in the past isn’t always a negative person. She could have been experimenting with her sexuality or she could have been addicted to sex at one point. Many people make decisions in their lives when they are young that may not reflect how they feel as they get older. She decided to be with you for a reason, and her sexual history does not indicate that she will be unfaithful or incapable of being a nice girlfriend.

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