Dear McKoy: My Daughter Took My Man

Mother-Daughter-Fight

My Daughter Took My Man

 

Dear McKoy,

I have been having issues with my 17-year-old daughter and every time I try to talk to her my boyfriend tells me I am being too harsh, even though it is quite clear she lacks manners and discipline.
Now every time my daughter and I have a disagreement or my boyfriend and I have problems they run to each other’s rescue. The other day I was at work and I didn’t feel well so I left early. Upon arrival at home, I noticed my boy friend’s work bag was in the bedroom when he was supposed to be at work, and he was nowhere to be found.
I looked everywhere until I came upon my daughter’s bedroom where loud music was blasting through the walls. I knocked on the door and entered. I was shocked out my pants, where he was on top of my daughter. I was so mad I kicked him out the house and called her father to come get her.
She believes they are in love.
The biggest issue of all now is that I am pregnant and so is she. My baby is going to be her brother and stepson. How does one not go crazy in such a situation? How will I explain this to my baby when he gets older? Why has God allowed this to happen to me?
Do you think I should work on making things right with my daughter? How about my ex? How could he sleep with a girl he has helped to raise? I am just confused. I need deliverance.”
– C.A
Response: Dear C.A, in my opinion, there must have been clear signs something was going on between your daughter and your boyfriend that you were just not willing to acknowledge. Unfortunately for you, sometimes one of the results of harsh parenting is your daughter running to the arms of a man who will give her that attention and ” love” and understanding she seeks and needs from you.
There is a lot of predatory men such as your boyfriend, just waiting to “comfort” little hurt girls with mommy or daddy issues.
As for the babies, get over it.  You are an adult, they are coming and they are the real victims of all this carelessness, not you. They will have to live with the messy choices you adults made. So prepare to be the best mom and grandmother to both of those kids because you have a lot of damage that can never be repaired and they are going to need a lot of support and love to get through all the finger pointing and laughing and teasing. -Mckoy