Dear McKoy: Both of my side chicks fought on Valentine’s Day

Dear McKoy,
I had three women up to three weeks ago but they all found out about each other and now I am stuck at a friend’s house sleeping on his couch. I don’t know why I did not just settle for my wife, I mean, I did actually marry her- but I guess it was greed. I had 2 hole side pieces. One was a beautiful doctor who would buy me anything I wanted and the other is in university finishing up undergraduate studies. My wife runs our business and takes care of our one-year-old son. All my friends used to say I am the top boss for balancing three women without any finding out and I did indeed feel like “the man”.
Valentine’s Day came and of course, I had to tell the side pieces a different story to spend the day with my actual wife but I wasn’t as slick as I thought I was. Apparently, the undergraduate side chick sent me in on a popular gossip page on Instagram that the other one also follows. Based on what I was told, they argued via messages before one threatened the other and they met up to “fist it out”. To make matters worse, my wife’s friends follow the page and they sent the post to her.  She did not even argue, she just threw all my clothes on the front lawn and locked me out.
The other women have blocked me and I feel so ashamed. What should I do to get my wife back?

-confused man

Dear confused man,

I hope you realize that having a whole lot of women never pays off in the end and you ought to respect the sacredness of marriage. You have to respect your wife’s space during this time because you really hurt her. Give her time and don’t pressure her. This is an eye-opening experience that we can all learn from. I wish you the best. Remember to never neglect your child amidst all of this.

McKoy