When I pulled into the parking lot of the pharmacy (Fontana in Fairfield) I was met by a very disgruntled woman security guard who was visibly upset and complaining loudly about something. I asked her what was the matter and her answer floored me.
She declared angrily that: “Afta di mayor ban di battyman dem from di Cultural Centre dem a march dung a bottom road!” (After the mayor banned gays from the Cultural Centre they are marching along bottom road).
I was still wearing my Pride t-shirt and I proudly said: “Mi a one a di battyman dem (I am one of those gays)! Happy Pride!”
Her mouth fell open and then she said: “Unuh nuh easy at all! (You all have some nerve)
After shopping I went back out to the parking lot and asked the guard if she was still upset. The conversation that followed was pure comedic gold!
She answered that God doesn’t like what we do. I assured her that God is fine with us. Then she said: “God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.” So, I asked her who made us then, the devil? She then switched to: “Look ‘ow ‘oman sweet. ‘Ow yuh fi deh wid man? (Look how women are sweet. How can you be with a man?) So I said, but men are also sweet, which is why you are with one! She finally declared in exasperation: “Di battyman dem a tief all di man dem suh mi caaan get none!” (The gays have stolen all the men so I can’t get one!)
So, there you have it folks, CLEARLY there are not enough straight men in Jamaica to meet the needs of their women counterparts!