Dating someone younger – say 2-5 years can certainly work but being an older woman say 10-30 years, does tend to come with certain perks and downfalls. However many younger men are loving it and the women are satisfied.
If as a male you are thinking about dating a female much older than you are or you are wondering what the trend is all about, here are some reasons why more older women are dating younger men.
Statistics has revealed that men reach their sexual prime in their 20s due to spike in testosterone, while women typically reach their sexual prime in their 30s and 40s. So a woman at 30-40 years with a man at 20-30 years could work out sexually. Plus younger guys usually have more stamina and you may just have a match made in orgasm heaven. A younger man should have more energy and is more willing to try new sexual adventures. He may even hold out longer than a guy at 50.
FUN LOVING ACTIVITIES
There should be more room for dinner dates but also be ready for say a 10-mile walk. According to Founder and Executive Editor of CupidsPulse.com Lori Bizzaco, “Younger men tend to be more adventurous outside the bedroom as they are inside it and they usually bring out a more youthful, vibrant side of you”. She further states that he will come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and youth and make you feel empowered and appreciated.
When you enter into a new relationship, it is no secret you are bringing former boyfriends along with you in your mind. But a younger guy is packing less. Men can have preconceived notions about women and relationships based on past experiences, says Samantha Daniels, a professional matcher and president of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking. She further states that “the younger and less experienced he is, the more open he will be in a relationship with you”. Be also warned though that less baggage can also mean a lack of relationship skills, such as communicating and resolving problems and conflicts.
Many younger men are more connected with their peers than they are with the idea of being a couple. In other words a lot of young guys hang out by themselves, young and single, going out to bars until 4am or youth fellowships at Churches, flirting with women and behaving within their age group. In Churches, youth groups usually have a 15-30 age group difference so the female would be out of this bandwidth. Both would therefore not be in this same group which caters to both sexes. Naples, FL-based author and relationship columnist April Masini states that “younger men don’t want to miss out on being part of their group, with whom they glean their identity”.
HE’S SCARED OF COMMITMENT
A younger man sometimes finds it difficult to walk down the aisle and put on the ring too early. So you may be dating a younger man for years before he settles in marriage. The younger man is developmentally in a different place and is not ready for all the pressures and responsibilities that go along with a committed relationship because his emotional maturity is not fully developed yet. He’s neither scared of love or loves you but feels like marriage means giving up his freedom. You could be looking at a girlfriend status for your lifetime.
The female’s biological clock may be ticking away while he isn’t even turned on. Women in their mid 20s to early 30s are biologically prime for baby-making but young men do not have the “daddy-gene” in them until they get to be more established and mature says New York City-based matchmaker Janis Spindel. So if you want kids, it could be several years until your youthful partner is ready to face the reality of raising one.
There is also the possibility of being in a care taking relationship with a man in declining health. In general, men tend to age sooner than women, so dating a younger guy may level the playing field when you both get older. The clever maturity that comes with age opens a woman to more creative, fulfilling and new relationships, including dating younger men.
Being at different points in your career, can also be a potential negative for your relationship if you are more successful and established, while he is just getting a career going. Statistics has shown that women in this situation may end up being more of a “mommy-figure” rather than an equal partner. In other words, being the bread-winner may not matter to you if say, he makes an amazing meal every morning and night so you don’t have to worry about cooking or he does laundry twice weekly and you don’t have that on your plate. You are the only one to decide on that but remember that some younger men can be true gold diggers, looking for a free ride or to be taken care of financially.
A new study by sex psychologist Dr Justin Lehmiller suggests that men have more satisfying relationships. The interviews revealed that women who were more than 10 years older than their partners were the most satisfied with, and committed to, their relationships than both women who were younger than their partners, and women whose partners were close in age. The sex psychologist further explained that the result may have worked out the way it did because when the woman is older, it might shift the power dynamic toward greater equality. Dr Lehmiller also suggests that relationships in which the woman is older than the man may work as they put the woman in a more dominant position.
IT WIDENS THE AVAILABLE POOL OF MEN
Women live longer than men and so, as women age, there are simply fewer available men in their age group. Dating younger guys opens up a much bigger pool of possible matches, which increases a woman’s chance of finding a great partner.
I have discovered that more and more older women these days are keeping their minds open when it comes to age, and as a result, some are finding that a younger man may just happen to be the best person for them.
Ladies and Gentlemen, let the discussion continue.
Contributed by HE Professor Colin O Jarrett
Senior News Editor