Dear Mckoy: My Husband is Cheating with His Worker

Dear Mckoy: My Husband is Cheating with His Worker I need a little advise. My husband and I have been together fifteen years now, but only have been married three years.

Over the years of our relationship he had cheated and lied to me in some of the most disturbing ways,  but being the strong woman I am I rode through the storm and made our relationship work.My husband is a well known business personnel in the parish of St James where he also presently reside. I was never a suspicious or inquisitive wife in my husband’s business, as I am of a professional character myself and do not wait on my husband to maintain me or the bills.

I recently did a self check and realized our marriage was nothing of a married couple and when we do spend time together, he’s always focus on other things.

Now I was hanging with my siblings when a friend of one of my siblings strike up a conversation regarding my husband and his workers to whom they are both friends.  Shockingly the friend started exposing that my husband is having an affair with his worker and that some time ago the worker had gotten pregnant for my husband but had an abortion and they both was being very secretive about it. But being close to the worker it was disclosed. I was uncomfortable throughout the conversation but kept my calm as I was too embarrassed to identify myself as the wife of the man the friend was referring to.

After the conversation my siblings and I discussed the matter and I was advised to keep calm and try catching him in action. Few days later I visited my husband at his business unexpectedly and noticed his workers were very uncomfortable with my presence and so was he. My husband was more anxious for me to leave then how welcome I was.  I still kept my calm observing his behavior, but it was quiet obvious something wasn’t right.

So after leaving I went to my doctor to have myself checked and was told I have an infection. Knowing my husband is my only intimate partner I started adding up my visit and all that the friend had exposed and I’m reflecting on other unexpected visit to my husbands business and I recall the suspicious attitudes of his workers that now leads me to the believe that all my suspicions about my husband affair with his worker appear to all be true.  I am not a violent person but I am tempted to get violent.

The situation is haunting me, I want to confront my husband but I am not sure if I should wait and try catching him red handed as my siblings advise. I am Traumatized and confused.

KM.J  St James.

 

Dear KMJ: The fact that you got an infection is proof enough that he is cheating on you. However, if you feel that you need to go ahead and gather more evidence, then by all means do so.

Do some serious introspection, then calmly sit him down and speak with him about your visit to the doctor. Let him know you are already certain that he is cheating and ask him why he choose to do so. You should find out if he lacks anything in the marriage such as sex, love, emotional support etc. If he says yes and you want to save your marriage you can work on these issues accordingly.

I am assuming you still love him since you decided to ask for my opinion. So, if you decide to stay in the marriage after finding out about his infidelity, I would suggest you ask him if he is willing to go to counselling with you to “fix” the marriage. If he says no to seeking help through counselling, then he is not worth being in your life. He will continue to cheat even if he breaks up with this worker that he is involved with.

Ultimately, the decision is yours, but you must make the choice that feels right to you. Good luck, I hope you can work it out.

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