Dear McKoy: Struggling with Regret After an Affair with My Married Coworker

Dear McKoy: I’m in a situation I deeply regret, and I’m struggling to figure out what to do next. About a month ago, I started an affair with my married coworker. I’ve always been attracted to him but knew it was off-limits. One day after work, a conversation between us led to something more, and we ended up spending the night together.

The next day, everything changed. He started ignoring me at work, acting as if nothing had ever happened. I’ve tried texting him to talk, but he doesn’t reply to my messages. I even tried having conversations with him at work but he keeps saying he is busy.

I feel embarrassed and used. I can’t believe I slept with someone who won’t even acknowledge me now. I know I made a mistake, but how do I deal with the hurt and anger I feel? Should I confront him, or is it better to just move on and try to forget this happened?

Sincerely,
Regretful and Ignored

Dear Regretful and Ignored: Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s understandable to feel regret, anger, and confusion after starting an affair with your married coworker, especially since he is now ignoring you and not taking responsibility for his actions.

Take time to reflect on your feelings and understand how this experience has affected you. Writing down your thoughts can help clarify your emotions and give you a better perspective on what you’re going through.

Setting boundaries is also important. Keep your interactions with him professional at work to protect your emotional well-being. If you feel comfortable, you could consider confronting him to express how his actions have hurt you, but be prepared for any reaction.

During this time, focus on yourself. Redirect your energy into self-care and activities that bring you joy. Engaging in hobbies or spending time with friends can be incredibly beneficial for your healing process.

Seeking support from friends or a counselor can provide valuable perspective and emotional support. Sharing your experience with someone who can listen can be incredibly healing and help you navigate your feelings.

Lastly, use this experience as a learning opportunity. Understand what you want in future relationships and establish the necessary boundaries to protect your heart. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued and respected. Take time to heal and ensure your next steps align with your values.

Wishing you clarity and strength,

McKoy