Dear McKoy: My Man Hates Giving Me Oral But Don’t Mind Getting Head

Dear McKoy: My Man Hates Giving Me Oral – I am with a guy who refuses to perform oral sex on me. He says he is scared of putting his mouth on my vagina, yet he has no problem penetrating me. Although he says I am the first person he’s ever performed oral sex on, it’s only happened a handful of times since we have been together, each he plays around for a few seconds until he stops.

However, he consistently requests oral sex from me whenever we’re intimate. Despite expressing my dislike for performing oral sex, I oblige because it brings him pleasure.

On top of that, he’s itching for a threesome, but with another woman. While I’m intrigued, I’m not fully on board. I think he is dangling the idea of performing oral sex on me or another woman just to make the threesome happen, but he draws the line at doing it regularly. It’s like he’s saving his moves for the big event while leaving me high and dry the rest of the time.

We’ve discussed this issue extensively, but to no avail. I believe it’s unfair for him to consistently request oral sex from me while refusing to go down on me. I told him I need more equality in our relationship, but he often dismisses this idea and uses it to argue about other aspects of our relationship.

I’m trying to avoid making this a deal breaker, but I’m left feeling unsatisfied. How can I address this issue and achieve a resolution that satisfies both of us?

A. M.

Dear A.M. – It sounds like you’re dealing with some frustrations in your relationship, especially when it comes to the bedroom. It’s tough when one partner isn’t willing to give as much as they’re asking for, right?

It’s totally understandable that you’re feeling unsatisfied. I mean, who wouldn’t be if they’re constantly giving but not getting in return? And the whole threesome thing? It’s cool if you’re intrigued, but it’s gotta be something you’re both really into, not just one person’s idea.

Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Sometimes just laying it all out there and explaining how his actions are affecting you can make a big difference. If he’s dismissing your feelings or using them to start other arguments, that’s not cool either. You deserve to be heard and respected.

Maybe suggest trying new things together in the bedroom, or finding ways to spice things up that you’re both comfortable with. If you’re still feeling stuck, talking it out with a professional could be a game-changer. Remember, your satisfaction matters just as much as his, and finding a balance that works for both of you is key. Good luck.

McKoy