Dear McKoy: I Think It’s Time My Boyfriend Gets a Job

Dear McKoy: I am in a bit of a predicament regarding my boyfriend’s unemployment, and I could really use some guidance. A few months ago, my boyfriend moved in with me due to some issues he was having with his mother. I am fortunate to have a stable job with a good company, and I offered him a place to stay because it seemed like he had nowhere else to go. I am an independent woman, and I have my own vehicle and a comfortable home, which I  work hard to finish two years ago.

However, since he moved in, my boyfriend has been unemployed. He claims to be actively looking for a job, but I can’t shake the feeling that he is becoming too comfortable with our current living arrangement. While he takes care of the household chores and even cooks for me, I can’t help but worry about our future together.

On one hand, I appreciate his efforts to keep the house clean and his gestures of affection, such as rubbing my feet after a long day at work. But on the other hand, I feel like his lack of employment is preventing us from moving forward as a couple. I have expressed my concerns to him and encouraged him to find a job so that we can save money and possibly even consider marriage in the future.

However, he seems laid back about the situation and shows little urgency in finding employment. I worry that he may be content with the status quo and not feel the need to take on the role of provider in our relationship.

I love him dearly, and I know he loves me too. But I can’t help but wonder if our relationship can thrive in the long term without financial stability. Am I being unreasonable in expecting him to contribute financially to our household expenses?

I would greatly appreciate any advice or perspective you can offer on this matter. Thank you for taking the time to read my email

Sandra

Dear McKoy: Either My Grandfather is a Pervert or He’s Suffering from Dementia

Dear Sandra: It makes sense that you’re feeling unsure about your boyfriend not having a job and how it affects your relationship. You’ve been kind to let him stay with you when he had problems at home, and it’s okay to expect him to help out with expenses.

While it’s nice that he’s doing chores and cooking, money matters, especially for the future. It’s worrying that he hasn’t been actively looking for work, even after you talked about it. Financial stability is important for a relationship to work long-term.

You should have an honest talk with him about how his not having a job is making you feel. Tell him that you want to plan for your future together but you need him to contribute financially too. Encourage him to start looking for a job and let him know you’ll support him.

Try to understand his side too and any challenges he’s facing. But it’s crucial for both of you to talk openly about your concerns and figure out what’s best for your relationship. If he’s not willing to make an effort, you might need to rethink things.