Dear McKoy: I Love My Boyfriend but He is Not Good in Bed

I am 20 years old and  have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. I love him deeply, but lately, I have not been feeling satisfied in bed.

He is 23 and I understand that he is young, but I am not used to being left wanting more every time my man finishes.  I haven’t been honest with him because I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but it’s starting to affect my feelings for him. Sometimes I even pretend to enjoy myself, so he doesn’t feel bad.

I care about him and I don’t want to lose what we have. But I also don’t want to ignore my own needs for wild passionate excitement, the kind that makes me scream for more. I dont want to cheat but the feelings i’m having may just lead me to do that. How do I talk to him about this without hurting his confidence?

T.S. 

Dear T.S: It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, balancing your love for your boyfriend with your personal needs. The key here is communication, but it’s important to approach the conversation with care and sensitivity.

Start by reassuring him how much you value the relationship and his efforts. Make it clear that your concern isn’t about him as a person, but about deepening your physical connection together. You can frame it as wanting to explore new things as a couple, focusing on the excitement of growing together, rather than pointing out his shortcomings. Be open to discussing what you both enjoy and how you can make intimacy more satisfying for both of you.

Remember, intimacy is a journey, and with honest communication, you both can learn to meet each other’s needs without hurting his confidence.