Dancehall artiste Spice dropped another hilarious episode on her new YouTube show Spice Official World yesterday (May 4).
The charismatic character of dancehall’s reigning queen makes for a good online sitcom as can be seen in the last couple episodes. While the cast is just her and the setting is mainly inside her cozy apartment in the ATL, she has managed to draw in a huge audience for being absolutely funny and entertaining to watch.
Usually players run through these scenarios pretty quickly, blushing to reveal whom they would shag but not Spice. The So Mi Like It deejay not only told viewers who she would want to choke her during some passionate love making but also went in great detail to tell her everyone why she would do what with whom.
She was given 12 rounds of 3 celebs each, the impromptu selection was received with lots of giggles and had fans sitting on the edge of their chairs for her responses, however the most sidesplitting of the lot were these:
Beyonce, Ciara & Missy Elliot
Railwayed by a list of girls, Spice proceeded anyway to say that she would marry Beyonce and the reason for that is because she has proven to be a very polished woman. She recalled the infamous elevator incident involving Jay-Z, Beyonce and her sister Solange.
Even though Jay-Z and Solange were in somewhat of a fistfight, Bee held it together without getting involved. “Mi watch di video bout hundred time, mi a wonda if is a mannequin” Spice said. This she added is a good wife quality to have, and with Beyonce she wouldn’t have to worry about being interrogated as it concerns her whereabouts.
Missy would get to see her sexy side and Ciara would have to kick the bucket.
Drake, Popcaan & Lil Wayne
Who would have thought Spice was such a Drake fan. Well this fanatic turn dominatrix dancehall queen had a few sexacapades she wanted to explore had she ever gotten the chance to shag the iconic Canadian rapper.
Spice said, “Mi would a have a different kind a sex wid Drake … mi would a carry Drake in a wah tree outside, up pon di tree and make Drake get like all one piece a board and beat mi in a mi back wid di board… mi would want Drake drape mi up and squeeze mi troat right desso… yeah (as she gestures to choke herself) and dem sump’n deh.”
It doesn’t stop there; Spice also said that unlike regular girls that have sex on the bed she would take Drake under the bed. Then continued, “Some girls have sex wid him in a di car, mi a go in a di trunk, in a di car trunk, in a di back in a di trunk, me and Drake… yeah some different different type a sex mi would a have wid Drake.”
These seem to be some of Spice’s best sex moves, as she disclosed the same styles and scenarios with her fellow Love and Hip Hop cast member Shekinah Anderson to help her spruce up her love life in an Instagram Live.
To end this round she decided to marry Poppy and kill Lil Wayne.
R. Kelly, Bill Cosby & Harvey Weinstein
This was a hard one for obvious reasons, but without skipping a beat she got right into addressing the biggest elephant in the room, “Mi definitely naa go marry R. Kelly cah mi nuh wah nobody pi– pon me, mi nu waa no man p– p– pon me…. me a go kill R. Kelly,” she said trying to contain her cackling. Kelly’s sex trafficking case is expected to continue in September.
After a slight deliberation, it didn’t take her long to decide to kill the other two convicted pervs.
Vybz Kartel, Sizzla & Bounty Killer
Everyone knows her love for Kartel, but it was interesting to find out whether she would marry or shag him. Well it didn’t matter, after a quick analysis she realized the Warlord’s aggressive and assertive persona is just the kind of thing she likes in the bedroom.
In her best Bounty Killer voice, she role-played what he would sound like instructing her during their love making, “Eh yow gallo, eh girl yow tun back way right now, eh yow gyal Spice bend ova right desso.”
Just getting in character was all she needed to conclude that Bounty would be the guy to shag. Addi would ultimately be her daddy and Sizzla, although she had never been with a Rasta, would have had to go meet his maker.
There were a bunch of Love and Hip Hop cast members that she had to pick from as well, but leave it to Spice to make things interesting.