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Dear Mckoy: Pastor’s Wife Impregnated By Stepson

Dear Mckoy: I am in such a stressful and embarrassing situation currently.   I am the wife of a Pastor of a well-attended church in the western region of Jamaica.  A lot of people look up to us and come to us with their problems; pity they don’t know that I have my serious demons.

I have been married to my husband for the past 8 years and he is older than me.  In the beginning, his family gave me a warm time because they said I was too young and radical for him; only his son welcomed me.  We would go to church pretending we are one big happy family when they secretly hated me.  I guess because I was young and sexy.  I was not their poppy show so the hate got more and more severe over the years.

At one point one of his family members came to live with us and I couldn’t deal with her disrespect.   I was pouring it all out to his son and he would encourage me; he felt like my only friend.  One day, the family member and I had a serious altercation and she called me a whore; to my surprise my husband had her staying there still.  I decided that I needed some space so I went by his son’s home for like 2 months.  At that time, the son’s wife accepted me and they took good care of me.  I developed more respect for the son and we got closer.

I eventually forgave my husband and went back home just to save face at the church.  Our relationship started dwindling down and the sparks went out the door.  One Sunday morning when they left for church, his son came over and I was pouring out to him and just started bawling.  He was hugging and consoling me when I just kissed him; he did not resist and the next thing I know, we were all over each other in my matrimonial bed.  I have never experienced that level of lovemaking before; my stepson healed every broken bones in my body.  The things he did to me were indescribable; I had so many orgasms in that little moment.

We started hiding and sleeping together; we played our secret roles very well.  Things at home no longer bothered me because I was getting serviced by my stepson.  Sometimes I would be on the pulpit and my stepson would be in the congregation texting me all the nasty things he was going to do with my body; sometimes I would just shout out hallelujah and I would see his face smiling in the congregation. I would be having sex with my husband like once a month but my stepson would explore me sensitive zones like twice a week.

I got very ill and my husband took me to the doctor, thinking it was Covid.    He did the test but it was negative.  He said he would run some tests to see the problem.  When we went back for the results, I almost fainted when I heard that I was pregnant.  My husband was so happy but I felt like disappearing because right then I knew it was for his son.  When I told the son, he said whatever I choose to do he will support me but he would openly welcome his child.  I am genuinely in love with my stepson and I don’t know what to do.  He is suggesting that we divorce our partners and move away together to build our family.  I am just thinking about abortion because of the impact all of this will have on my husband and his church.  I am honestly confused and don’t know what to do.

Identity Withheld

Dear Miss: Reading your letter made me so sad; sad to know that there are persons like you in the church who are such blatant hypocrites.  How could you be sitting on a supposed to be holy pulpit while performing those ungodly acts? 

You said you wanted to save face for your husband’s church but this is bigger than that; you should be seriously worried about the whipping you are going to receive from God.  I don’t think abortion is the way to go but I definitely agree that both you and your stepson should stay away from your partners; they deserve better.  So the child you bring forth will be your stepson’s son and brother same time and your husband’s grandson?  What a nasty entangled web this is. I pray God have mercy on both of you.

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Dear Mckoy: ‘Mother-Daughter Trap’

Dear Mckoy: I am a Personal Trainer who works at a well-known gym in Kingston but I also do home visits since the pandemic.  I placed an advertisement on social media and I got a call the same day from a lady in Barbican.  I called her and told her the conditions and requirements.

The following day, I went to the address I received and I was greeted by this beautiful lady; however, she had some insecurities due to her bulging sides and belly.  I assured her that with my program, she will be looking and feeling fabulous.  We planned the schedule and expectations.

The following week, it was time for business.  I presented myself at the house and she answered the door.  This time she was wearing a very tiny short set.  I am not exaggerating, I had to wonder if she had stuffing in her shorts; her vagina was the buffest I have ever seen.  Anyways, I tried to keep it professional and started the program.  The woman was giving me such a hard time concentrating with her 40 pounds of meat.  She would deliberately open and close her legs and bend over with all the flesh hanging down.  I had to fight to keep my boy under subjection.

The next visit, she opened the door but this time in her towel as she said she just got out the shower.  I offered to wait in the car until she was ready but she said I could come inside and wait.  I was setting up my equipment when I felt something cold on my back.  When I looked up, it was her rubbing some ice cubes on my back.  The towel was now gone and she was very well naked.  I was so surprised, that I couldn’t talk; only thing I could do was to sit in the couch.  She came over to me and bent over showing me all her fatness; my mouth was left in an O.  I asked her if it was real and she said I should squeeze it to know.  It was the softess and most fluffy vagina ever.

She pushed me back then took out my tool and swallowed me up; now mark you, I am not a small one.  I felt like a little bitch under her spell because I wanted to cry out.  All the time she was there exercising her jaw muscles she was giving me full eye contact.  I was at the point of exploding and I told her and the lady placed an ice cube in her mouth and that was the kill; I shot straight down her intestines.  When she got up off the floor and I looked down, there was a puddle from her wetness; this 54 years old woman was a true porn star.  I bricked up back immediately and got out my condom.  I put it on and told her to assume a position; old girl chose the doggy still and started barking.  When I finished drilling her fluffy walls, she was like a little humble cat.

I told her to ride the bike now and she jumped on but her door opened and my man instantly dropped because I thought it was her husband.  In walked a replica of her only much younger.  I was trying to get myself together but the young girl just looked on and smile.  She commanded us to continue and the mother had a little ginal smirk.  I was wondering what the hell this was until old girl ripped off the condom and started the jaw movements.  The daughter came over and took away my boy from her and started her thing.  It was like a competition but the daughter demonstrated some killer skills.  She swallowed me up completely but what made her won was that she took one on my balls in also.  I had to stop because these women were taking me for a little bitch.

I got out a new condom and placed the daughter on top of her mother (both were in doggy style).  So I rammed on, I rammed the other; the moans and groans from them were music.  That day, I ended up doing three rounds with them; I have never been so tired in all my life.  The mother paid me a hefty sum of money.

We shared the experience some more time but I started developing feelings for the daughter.  She called me one night and told me not to come back to the house because she liked me also and wants me for herself.  I think both of them are jealous over each other and I am caught in the middle.   The problem is that I want the daughter but I want the mother’s money.

Identity Withheld

 

 

Dear Sir: You got yourself in a family crisis; I suggest you stay away from both parties as this can cause serious problems stemming from jealousy.  If you were a professional trainer as you mentioned,  you would have left from the beginning.

After that first encounter, you should have never gone back.  Suppose the daughter should tell the husband out of jealousy? 

All the best.

 

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Dear McKoy: My Bestie Wants a Threesome with Her Man

I’m a twenty-year-old woman whose best friend is in a three-year serious relationship with her boyfriend. Their sex life is lacking, and they want to add another person to their bed and they invited me to join. I’m flattered and drawn to both of them; but, I’m afraid that this will only result in conflict between them as individuals and as a pair. What do you think I should do?

Confused

 

Dear confused: There is a lot to be said for enjoying sex when you are young. When you’re older, you’ll have a rich sexual back library to ‘read through’ on occasion, but most of the time, someone will feel used in these situations. The fact that you are thinking about the problems that may exist demonstrates your emotional maturity.

What is being requested of you is neither right nor wrong. What it means to you, on the other hand, is what actually matters. What looks to be a flattering and titillating game can often lead to a broken friendship.

If judgments, jealousies, or other insecurities occur as a result of giving yourself so freely to two people who already have each other, this mix could be catastrophic to your self-esteem or even theirs. If your friends are having problems, it’s far better they solve them before you fall into bed with them, so ask your best friend if this is actually what she wants. You are not a cure! Politely decline, there will always be jealousy and resentment. Fantasy is usually better than reality.

 

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Dear McKoy: My Ex-girlfriend is Pregnant and She Says It’s Mine

Dear McKoy: My girlfriend and I had been dating for three years, we had never used any form of protection, and I barely ever withdraw when I’m coming. She had never gotten pregnant when we were together. I ended my relationship with her a little over a month ago, only days after I found out she was cheating. Last week, she told me she is pregnant and claims it’s mine. She never got pregnant when we were having unprotected sex for three years, but she had sex with someone else and suddenly she was pregnant. I don’t believe it’s my child, but she claims the man used a condom. I’m not sure I trust her. I’m not sure what to do; if it’s my child, If it’s mine I want to give it another try and be there for her through her pregnancy. I want to do the right thing, but if it’s not, I don’t want anything to do with it. I just got the feeling that if it was going to happen, it would have happened during our three years together. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you very much.

 

Ricky

 

Dear Ricky: A paternity test can be done before or after the kid is born. If she slept with other men, you have the right to find out if you are the biological father. If the child is yours, do everything you can for him or her, and it’s absolutely up to you whether or not you want to rekindle the relationship for the benefit of the child. If it is not yours still do not hate the baby. Also, please remember to protect yourself, there are STDs around that are incurable. Hope things go well for you. Good luck.

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Dear McKoy: Scared of Leaving My Abusive Man

I am 20 years old and have been living with my boyfriend who is 35 for one year.  Everything has been going well until last weekend when we went to a party. Everyone was mingling and I danced with a few of the guys. He was drinking a lot of alcohol and all of a sudden he said he wanted to leave. I was really having a nice time so I begged him to stay, but it seems he was too drunk to even listen to what I was saying. I got fed up and went to tell my friends that I was leaving. By the time I got back he was outside waiting on me and was very angry. He started accusing me of cheating which makes no sense to me. Then all of a sudden he held on to my throat and slapped me in my face. I was embarrassed at that point and started crying. I am not sure what came into him after he realized what he did, but he suddenly change and started apologizing. Said he was sorry and it will never happen again.

The next day he continued to accuse me of cheating on him and said that I should leave his house. When he saw that I started packing my things, he grabbed my arm and pushed me on the floor. He said I am not going anywhere. I am very scared and I never knew he had this side to him. I want to leave but I don’t know how. Any advice?

 

K.J.

 

Dear K.J: I would suggest that you leave this man immediately. Why would you remain in an abusive relationship unless you enjoy being abused? Avoid aggravating the situation more by packing up when he is not at home and moving to a safe place as soon as possible. That is the only way to make the abuse stop. You simply have to get the courage to walk out and not look back. Be with someone who respects you instead. You never know, the next time he gets angry you might be running for your life. I hope you get out of this toxic relationship soon. Good luck.

 

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Dear McKoy: My Mother is Angry Because She Caught Me Using a Sex Toy

Dear McKoy: I am 18 years old and I live with both parents, my two brothers, and my little sister. My parents think I’m a virgin, but recently, my mother found out I had a dildo and almost went crazy. Even though I have never been with a man, I masturbate in my own room very often. My room is open to everyone because family members come in and out as they please.

Since it was basically midnight and I thought everyone was asleep, I decided it was a good time to explore myself. Just when I was deep into it, with my legs spread wide apart, she walked into the room and looked horrified. Either she knew I was doing something and heard it because their room is close to mine, or she genuinely came looking for something.

She got really angry and started cursing me and saying I was nasty. Everyone woke up that night because she was shouting. I was so embarrassed. When she finally left the room I cried myself to sleep. She makes me feel disgusted with wanting to explore my sexuality and things that make me feel good. She needs to know I’m not underage and it’s none of her business if I want to use a dildo on myself. I need some advice.

 

M. B.

 

Dear M.B: I understand your frustration and it’s normal to feel embarrassed about the incident. However, while you are of legal age, you are still living under your parents’ roof and will ultimately have to abide by their rules. Therefore there are ways you have to conduct yourself as it seems fit. The fact that you have not yet had sex with a man says a lot about you, but it is natural for you to have sexual urges, after all, you are human. I would suggest that you continue to satisfy your needs but be more discrete. Ensure that you are alone during these intimate moments.

Your mother is probably worried about you losing your virginity, but in my opinion, losing one’s virginity is making love, the first penetration through another human being, or for males their first time penetrating. I think she should be thankful that you chose to please yourself and not opt to open yourself to men who are sometimes up to no good. 

 

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Dear McKoy: Could My Husband be Cheating with His Cousin?

Dear McKoy: My husband just recently started communicating with a female cousin who he claims was abused as a child and has mental health struggles. He explains that the reason why she is always on the phone with her is because she depends on him to console and comfort her due to the childhood trauma that she is trying to overcome.

I’m trying to be supportive of their relationship, however, the communication is endless and goes late into the night for some strange reason. If I enter the room while he is on the phone, he stops talking and waits until I leave or get into the shower before continuing. It’s absolutely awkward, and he is always laughing on the phone with him. He doesn’t communicate that way with me. If he is not with her on the phone, he is talking about her with me. Almost like an obsession.  The constant stream of communication has me perplexed.

I’ve spoken to him about it and he says that she is suicidal, so he will always be there for her. This gives her the green light to call anytime she pleases. His parents believe that she is toxic and that he should maintain a safe distance. According to what I’ve heard, she can be a loose cannon. What do you think I should do?

 

A.M.

 

Dear A.M: It seems to me you’re about to have serious problems in your marriage. If your husband is hiding things from you, he is doing someting wrong. When you go into the room, he stops talking on the phone. Why would he be secretive if she is his relative?  What what I have read it seems like he is having an affair. You should establish boundaries right away. Don’t trust her if you’ve already been told by his parents that she can’t be trusted. Your husband is on his way to destroying the marriage, and one of you needs to step up and put a stop to it. If she’s suicidal, she needs professional help, not late-night phone calls/texts with your husband. Believe your instincts and don’t be hesitant to face your husband. Your marriage is in jeopardy.

 

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Dear McKoy: I Can’t Get An Erection When I’m Using Condoms

Dear McKoy: I am a 23-year-old male who has mental issues with using condoms. Whenever I am in a situation and need to use one, I can’t get hard. Even if my partner and I are having foreplay and I’m getting hard, the instant the term “condom” is said, my penis drops, and I psychologically feel like I’m many miles away from the situation and can’t function. I know it’s a psychological issue rather than a physical one because I can put a condom on while masturbating, and I do get very hard without condoms.

I’m writing to you right now because I was embarrassed last night after I met this very sexy girl at the club and she decided to come home with me. I got erect by kissing her in the room. But the moment we got to bed and she asked about a condom, my penis failed.

Do you have any suggestions? I’m starting to get tired of this.

 

L.W.

 

Dear L.W.: There are ways you can work around your condom problems but the best solution is to see a therapist for professional help. One way to work around it is to condition yourself by using one while you masturbate. Condoms during sex are often a necessary evil, but if you can get used to it while masturbating before actual sex that may help. 

Another way is to ensure that you are in a committed relationship where you and your partner have negative STD tests, this way you can have safe sex without condoms, providing that your partner uses a birth control method that you both trust. I hope you get the help you need. 

 

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Dear McKoy: My Husband Wants to Watch Me with Another Man

Dear McKoy: My husband and I have been together for two years and have been considering adding a third person into the bedroom. We had just two encounters with this one female, first before we got married and the second time after we got married.

The thing is I’m beginning to question whether or not I want to continue doing this. The experience is exciting and all, but negative emotions can surface if boundaries are not set. Now he wants to take it a little further by telling me he wants me to engage in sexual activities with another guy while he watches. Even after I expressed how uncomfortable I was with his request, he insisted that sexual exploration was important to him and that he didn’t want our sex life to become stale. He says he would like to experience the thrill of trying something new and he would prefer to involve me.

He is a wonderful person, and I admire and respect him. It crushes my heart to know that he feels he is missing out on something in our relationship, but I don’t believe that I personally require that feeling to be satisfied in any way. I am more than willing to experiment in other ways, but it does not appear that our sexual preferences are compatible.

This was never a problem for me until recently. I wish he had told me before we got married that he had certain wild fantasies that he needed to play out. I understand that people’s needs are continually changing, and that can be the case with their needs for a spouse. To me, it sounds like he’s needing the excitement of a new relationship, which is something I’m not sure I can provide. Are there any suggestions on how to proceed or how to figure out if it’s something else?

 

M. R

 

Dear M.R: My suggestion is to stick to your principles. Allowing him to push you into doing something you don’t want would only harm you in the long run. He should have found someone who does not want monogamy if he wanted sexual exploration after marriage. For the vast majority of people, marriage entails monogamy. If he is pressuring you to do something, he isn’t respecting you or your decision. Furthermore, you are not preventing him from doing anything. If he is with you, he chose monogamy as his option. If he wants another type of relationship structure, he will have to divorce you and start over. A final point to mention is that being with one person is not “boring.” You are not required to include others in order to have a fulfilling sex life. I hope you make the right choice. 

 

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Dear McKoy: My husband is a Cheater

Dear McKoy: I’m writing to you because I feel so unhappy and need some advice. I love my husband and enjoy spending time with him, however, he is a serial cheater. He has caused me so much pain in the past. I have exposed numerous instances of his infidelity, and he continues to promise that he will change. I’ve attempted to leave numerous times, but it’s so difficult. Recently I searched his phone and saw him and another woman sharing naked photos. He doesn’t know I have seen them. I feel like I can’t satisfy him. I want to be sufficient so he doesn’t have to seek attention elsewhere.

I told him we should do some marriage counseling, but he says no because he claims he does not want another person in our business. I wish I could simply leave. I already have anxieties due to my acne and the fact that I gained weight after having his children. This only serves to exacerbate my feelings of worthlessness. I wish I could put him out of our home. I’m going to have to leave him but I know that he’s going to portray me as the evil person; that’s just the type of person he is, but I have to do this for my own sanity. I know I deserve way better than this. I’m at a loss on where to start. Any advice?

 

A.W

 

Dear A. W: I am sorry that you are going through this situation, however, you must not feel as if you are not worthy. There is nothing wrong with you! It is not your fault why he is breaking his marriage vows and actively being adulterous. If I am correct, you found out he was cheating more than once and you were willing to get marriage counseling whereas he was not. This means he doesn’t want to change his ways. He is perfectly happy with his lifestyle. He has a responsibility to communicate and work on the marriage. 

For your legal purposes, gather evidence of his cheating. Speak with a lawyer as soon as possible. Hopefully, you have a separate bank account from him. If not, I’d recommend opening your own bank account, preferably at a different bank. Speak with a family member or someone you can trust. They may be able to provide you counsel and ideally, healthy moral support. I hope you are able to heal and receive the assistance you require on this difficult journey.

 

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