Dear Mckoy

Dear McKoy: A Case of Child Abuse

Dear McKoy,
I am currently renting an apartment from an elderly woman whose 30-year-old daughter left her 8-year-old daughter on her to go off and start a new life.

This elderly woman says she doesn’t like females and so she abuses this little girl and all her other children do the same. The little girl doesn’t misbehave, she is simply a child and she will do stuff regular kids do, but I don’t believe that gives anyone the right to treat her the way they do. The child’s father is aware of how she is being treated but he refuses to do anything, all he does is quarrel behind their backs as he says he doesn’t have a home for her to stay.

Whenever I am not around and I come back she has a busted lip or her face is swollen. But whenever I am around she sticks closely to me. I wish I could just take her with me but I have a baby and life is hard with one child! Could you imagine what it would be like if I were to adopt her or become her legal guardian? Do you think I should report what is happening to the CDA? I mean she isn’t hungry and she is kept clean but she is being abused. Not to mention the fact that kids are being abused in homes all across Jamaica. I don’t want to be the reason why a little girl gets abused in a home.

Do you think I should take this little girl under my care? Do you think I should try and find a better alternative before totally weighing my options? I really want to help her. Please help a woman in dire need of advice ASAP.



Dear T.M,

I believe that you should report that the little girl is being abused to the nearest police station. No child should ever be mistreated or abused, she should be loved and taken care of. I understand if you cannot take her under your wings and care for her. but if it’s possible for you to help her in any way, help her.

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Dear McKoy: Should I Reunite with My Philandering Husband?

Dear McKoy,
I married the man of my life and left to live in the US, he had to stay behind until the paperwork came through. While in the US I was informed that my husband was sneaking around with a co-worker.

I asked him about it and he said it was not true. I tried to be his friend on Facebook and he blocked me so I used a friend’s profile to spy on him. There it was plain and obvious on Facebook a young lady referring to him as her baby.

I came to visit a couple months later and found out from his family that the young lady was having his baby. I confronted him and told him I was going to leave him and he threatened to kill me. I couldn’t leave so I went back to the US and he continued his shenanigans in Jamaica. Life seemed to be going well for him until his sister called the other day to say he and the said young lady are no longer together.

I still love him McKoy! Do you think I should get back with him? His sister is willing to talk to him. What if he doesn’t want to be with me? What do you think I should do? Would it be a good idea to take him back? What if he hurts me again? I am desperate for your advice. Please help me!



Dear F.G,

I know love means a lot but if he didn’t respect you before, I don’t believe he is going to respect you now. It’s up to you still, if you two get back together I would advise you to keep him on a short leash and make sure he knows your ultimatum. Your way or the highway. No woman should be treated the way you were treated. Also it’s important that you respect yourself.

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Dear Mckoy – Jealous Teen Daughter

Dear McKoy,

I am a single father of 4 little girls. My wife died 4 years ago during childbirth due to complications. I have not been with anyone since my wife’s death in 2014. I recently started seeing a lady who shows genuine interest in my girls. The problem is that my eldest who is 13 doesn’t like the woman I am dating, as she believes her mom wouldn’t have been happy about it. My girlfriend has stopped our one on one dates so we can have family picnics and activities but my daughter has still refused to participate or be a part of any of these activities.

Tell me McKoy, what would you do? Would give up on the one real source of love and happiness you’ve had since the death of your spouse? Would you be happy with not giving your other kids the chance of having two loving and supportive parents? Or would you give it a shot for your happiness as well?

McKoy I really need your help! Please advise me.
– S.S.A


Dear S.S.A,
Children can be very selfish and demanding. On the other hand, everyone needs to be happy and deserves to be happy. If this lady makes you happy and she treats your children well I see no reason for you to end the relationship with her.

 I do believe though that you need to sit and talk with your daughter, just assure her that you love her and her mom will always hold a special place in your heart and I’m sure she will turn around.  


Gov’t Removing Bureaucracy to Deal with Children in Need of Care and Protection

Dear Mckoy

Dear Mckoy – His Mama Is A Young Girl

Dear McKoy,

I am an avid reader of your articles and columns and I have been wanting to write to you for some time now.

A friend of mine got married around 6 months ago and I recently made a startling discovery. The other day my boyfriend and I went to the all-inclusive hotel for the weekend. While at the hotel I saw my friend’s husband check in to the hotel with a young woman who was provocatively dressed. I watched for some time from a distance to make sure I wasn’t jumping to the wrong conclusion but I overheard the man at the front desk refer to her as Mrs. So and So.

I was so mad, I called my friend up to tell her but I couldn’t. I instead inquired of her how her husband was doing when she mentioned that he was away for the weekend visiting his mother.

I was so upset but I went with it. What would you have done? Would you have told her about where you saw her husband? Or would you just mind your own business?



Dear M.D,

I believe you’re caught between a rock and a hard place. She’s your friend and you want to tell her but it’s possible that if you tell her she might turn against you.

 If I were you, I would allow things to reveal itself in due time. When she does find out about her husband’s extra-marital affair simply be a shoulder she can cry on.

I know it may be hard to know that your friend’s husband is unfaithful and you have to pretend that all is well but it’s important that you keep out of her married life.

What God has yoked together let no man tear asunder.   

Dear Mckoy – Jealous Teen Daughter

Dear Mckoy

Dear Mckoy – What A Man Sows He Will Reap!

Dear McKoy,

I am a well-respected Church going, middle aged woman. I recently discovered that my husband had been entertaining the company of younger females. I was definitely not happy with that. My old rooster was for my henhouse only and my henhouse only and I was not about to let any stray fowls mark my territory. After I confronted this little ol’ foot of a man about his activities he simply told me that a woman must know her place in a relationship. I didn’t argue with him I simply told him that I wouldn’t bother him again.

To jump straight into the point I recently brought a new rooster into my coup and I am dying for him to catch wind of it. When he confronts me about it, I’ll simply shrug it off and let him know that whatever a man sows is what he’ll also reap!

Now McKoy, tell me, do you think I am wrong for handling the situation the way I did? Do you think I should feel any remorse for my actions when he didn’t? After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
– P.M


Dear P.M,

I am not sure I can sit here and ignore the fact that you said you’re a well-respected church woman. If your husband is cheating on you and you confronted him I believe you have one of two choices, you can either stay and be a fool or go and keep your pride and dignity.

You’ve instead chosen to go against what the Bible says. You’ve chosen to fight fire with fire!
I don’t agree with what your husband has done to you but you’ve made it all bad for yourself. You had your right and gave it away.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you! Nobody’s perfect but there is a thin line between right and wrong.

I believe you need to come clean to your pastor and pray for forgiveness. You’re responsible for your own spiritual well-being so don’t worry about what your husband is doing.

Dear Mckoy – His Mama Is A Young Girl

Dear Mckoy

Dear McKoy: Is Slavery Not Illegal?

Dear McKoy,

“I worked with a security company here in Jamaica and after five weeks on the job, I have not received a payment.

The owner of the company told us we will be paid fortnightly and he would keep one fortnight in the back.

We called and spoke with him on the phone twice and he said he’s having problems with the manager of the company who is away on business as he didn’t sign the cheques.

However several persons including yours truly saw the manager in question and he told a security supervisor the cheque was signed by the relevant persons and paid to the owner of the company a week ago before he went on business.

Several attempts were made to reach Mr. Henry. His secretary keeps telling us he’s away on business and cannot be reached.

We went to Ministry of Labor and we were advised to continue working as we couldn’t sue if we stop now even tho we haven’t received a salary.

However, we all have responsibilities and had to seek employment elsewhere.

Is it possible that the secretary is in conspiracy with the owner of the company and is aware of his dishonesty? Can legal actions be taken up against the secretary in order for her to talk about his whereabouts, so we can get our five weeks salary? Is the information given to us by Ministry of labor correct? Please help us we need our salary to clear ourselves of five weeks debts!”


Response by Shena Carty: All the unpaid employees need to contact an attorney. The Security company’s owner is responsible for your paychecks, not the secretary. He needs to be held accountable. His record needs to reflect his actions.

Also, contact Ministry of Labor again and make them aware of where the situation stands now and see what advice they have to give. If you hire an attorney, speaking to the ministry isn’t necessary. He will know how to proceed.

Dear Mckoy

Dear McKoy: Should I Marry This Young Boy?

Dear McKoy,

I have been in a relationship with a man from 2008. We broke up for three years because he said I needed to get my divorce as he doesn’t date married women.

I went to a Caribbean Island and he joined me. We lived together for almost 5 years and had a pretty little girl together who is just 2-years-old. I’m older than he is by 10 years and even though we’ve had our disagreements, he has never disrespected me for anyone and even passed up several opportunities for me. I hadn’t worked for 15 months at one point and he paid the bills, provided for me and our baby. He also gave me money to do whatever I want to.

We had an argument, I got upset and returned to Jamaica. He told me he’s coming home to marry me and he even sends me money and calls every day to talk and share his day and thoughts. I know no one is perfect and he often becomes jealous and gets on top of my nerves at times, but he is a good man.

Should I marry him and give him a chance? Or should I seize the opportunity to do a business marriage that a friend is arranging for me in order for me to get citizenship in America?


Response by Shena Carty: “You are chasing a dream! This man has sacrificed a lot for you. You have been through a lot and you have a child together. If at all possible and you care for him, try to make it work for your family. Obviously, age doesn’t bother him and he sees something in you, that no one else may see. Count your blessings. Be grateful and gracious that you have someone that wants to be there for you.

Business marriages can be the worst. The horror stories are plenty. You get married and you are imprisoned by this stranger and their demands. You could possibly face the worst situation, but it could work out. That decision is for you to make. As you are the one that would have to live with the consequences regardless.”

Dear Mckoy

Dear McKoy: Honesty Might not be the Best Policy

Dear McKoy,

“I am tired of trying to be honest as no one appreciates honest people anymore.

I found a bag containing a lot of money, as well as, some US dollars. I wanted to keep it all for myself because I owed several persons and I have a major surgery to do, but I was contemplating what to do when I heard a white couple saying they would properly reward the person who found it and they gave a number and ask anyone who has information on the money to contact them.

I recall several times hearing people saying you will be greatly rewarded for returning the money and things, yet they rarely reward you the honest person. All they tend to say is a “thank you and may God bless you“, or even tell you it is not their money and they “can’t give you any but God bless you.”

If you were in my position with all that money would you return it to the owners?

Would you remove some of it? Or would you call and have them signed an agreement to reward you and post it?

What would you do McKoy?”


Response by Shena Carty: What proof do you have that the money belongs to them? How do you know, they didn’t just hear a story and are passing it on? God works in mysterious ways. The universe saw your needs and answered your prayers. I would find out about the reward and check to see if they’re legitimate before I even consider handing that money over. If they are not legitimate and there’s no evidence of a reward to be awarded, keep it!

Dear Mckoy

Dear Mckoy: When a Mother Tries

Dear McKoy,

“I am a mother of 5 children and their father was a good man who fell victim to marijuana and cocaine.

I have tried very hard at many jobs and I even tried my hands at buying and selling, because I just can’t find a job anymore. Most times I have had to use the goods I bought to sell because no one has money to buy.

I have even hitchhiked to several hotel construction sites where I got part-time employment as a labourer.

I earned the respect of many people as a very trying person. I got money to borrow where I tried for the overseas work program and was denied a USA visa where I would go to work as a housekeeper in various big hotels.

I was distraught and some good Samaritan bought me a ticket to a Small Island where I worked for a few years and was able to assist two of my children through high school and part way through university.

Now I’m home and want to try for a US visa, will overstaying in another country although it is in the Caribbean, prevent me from getting the visa? Is there any program available that can assist me to find some kind of job so I can assist the rest of my children? I returned home because I missed my children and hated living in a country illegally.”


Response by Shena Carty: Please contact an immigration attorney. They are better equipped to assist you. Rob Brown an immigration attorney, will be able to assist you. (561) 255 2029.

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Dear McKoy: My Friend Stinks

Dear McKoy,

I have a friend and there is a certain aspect of her lifestyle that I would like to talk to her about but I am afraid I might offend her.

The truth is I am not the best at sugar coating the words I say. So my friend has a high body odor and she is overly emotional. The last time I spoke to her about her breath she cried and didn’t eat for two days.

How do I tell her without coming off as mean or offensive? Should I get her a gift that includes bath and body products? Or should I suggest that she seek professional help?? Help me help my friend.

Response: There are ways to be honest without being harsh. How old is she? Just sit her down and choose your words wisely. Be tactful, “I do not mean to be offensive and I am sure you are not aware so as a friend, I wanna let you know that you have to do something about your odor. I’m telling you because I think it is best I tell you than to have people talk about you or embarrass you.

Also, get her things that will tell her what the issues are without having to spell it out. You could even copy these words in a note and give it with the gift set for her. You’re trying to keep a friend not lose one.

Shena Carty