Sexually Abused At 10 – Marylize Biubwa’s Story of Healing By Doing Good — LOVINE MBOYA

Sexually Abused At 10 – Marylize’s Story of Healing By Doing Good — LOVINE MBOYA

The year is 2000, a warm Sunday afternoon. After the church service, TEN YEAR OLD Marylize walks home, serves herself lunch, changes into comfortable shorts before sitting down to watch a movie. The rest of the family is out, Sundays being the ideal day to catch up with friends. Just a few minutes after settling down, there’s a knock at the door. It’s her uncle. Marylize lets him in and being the gracious little host, hands him the TV remote control.

‘Can I have a glass of water please?’ he says.

Marylize walks to the kitchen to get him the water. He follows her.

‘I don’t think much of it then. Maybe he just wants to get the water himself.’

But, doubts set in when he suddenly starts touching her.

‘It doesn’t feel right. I don’t like it. So I walk back to the sitting room’

Her uncle follows her back to the sitting room, forgetting the water he’d requested for in the kitchen.

‘I tell myself maybe that has just been a bad moment, and we can continue watching TV as before. I am wrong.’

Her uncle walks straight to where she is sitting, grabs her hands and forcefully pins them behind her head.

‘Then he says I look so sexy today. I have heard that word on TV before, and I know it’s not something uncles tell their nieces. I had never even heard my mum and dad tell that to each other.’

The worst part sets in. He undresses her, and she tries to fight him off. But how much war can a ten-year old girl wage against a grown man? He forces himself onto her.

Pain. Anger. More pain. More struggle. Nothing gives. He doesn’t stop. Until he is done.

‘Then he zips up and leaves. He doesn’t look at me. Never says anything.’

via Sexually Abused At 10- Marylize’s Story of Healing By Doing Good — LOVINE MBOYA


Marylize is left laying on the couch, suddenly numb.

‘It is like my brain just shuts down. I am not even angry anymore. I am just a bloody body on the couch.’

A few minutes pass, and she can feel herself again.

‘The first emotion I register at this point is fear. I am scared of someone finding me there like that, especially my big brother seeing what had happened. I suddenly want to protect myself. From what? I don’t know. At that age I don’t know if what has happened is shameful or not, I just know I don’t want anyone to see it.’

‘I rush to the shower, and under the downpour I stand for a long time trying to clean myself. When I am not scrubbing my body, I’m just standing there, angry, my tears getting washed down by the falling water.’

When she finally walks out of the shower, she finds her mom already back home.

‘My mom asks me why I am showering at that time, and I just break down into tears. I feel I have seen my savior, my mother. I don’t know how to tell her what happened, and I don’t tell her for a very long time. Later on in the day when I finally do, she says is so sorry. And calls my dad to let him know what had happened.


In those days Marylize’s father worked away from home, and would only come during the weekends. But on this day, after he received the news, he came home immediately.

‘The first thing he asked me was WHAT I HAD BEEN WEARING before the incident.’

She was stunned.

‘I was in my shorts! Which is what I’ve always put on when I’m the house. No one has ever said anything about them. Why did it suddenly matter?’

Her father however, was quick to point out where the ‘problem’ was.

‘I have always told you people to dress better. I have always told your mother. Now see, ‘he said.

‘What he was telling me, was that it was all my fault. Me, his daughter, had made my uncle rape me. I had called out to the perpetrator, and permitted him because of the shorts I have worn in the house for years. Me, his daughter, had to be raped eventually. With that kind of dressing inside the house? Yes.’

That was it. The die had been cast. The case had been presented and judged. The victim was the guilty party. She was wrong. She could have prevented the rape by dressing more decently. It would have never happened. The verdict had been passed.

‘That was my father introducing me to the world, telling me this is how it works! That was my father, justifying his daughter’s rape. My own dad, flesh and blood, saying there’s nothing I, the victim can do, that I CAUSED IT.’


Without her father’s support, her mother could not make any independent drastic decisions.

‘I guess that is how it was back then. I feel my mother failed me.’

In that moment, something in her was born. The need to protect herself, knowing she was all she had.

‘I was bitter and angry for a while, but that was soon replaced by something more profound. The need to turn my pain into strength. Instead of my scars being a reminder of the incident, I decided to let them be a reminder that I need to make the situation better for someone else. To be a shoulder one can lean on, a source of strength. Everything I wanted but never had.’

Later on in life, as Marylize became more aware of the vast range of issues girls and women worldwide face but stay silent about, she vowed to dedicate her life to enlightening and empowering these women, with special focus on the young ones, who she was afraid might happen to go through her experience, and fail to know what to do.

‘Children are voiceless. If the parent says don’t, they don’t. If the parent says do, they do. They wouldn’t dare approach another adult and say, ‘my dad said this, or my mom made this choice for me, do you think it is okay?’ This lack of mental independence puts them at a risk.’

Marylize has been part of End FGM Campaign, that seeks to end female genital mutilation practiced in particular communities in Kenya, also Women to Kilimanjaro Campaign that aimed at educating and empowering women on land ownership issues.

Marylize is also a mentor for She For She, a campaign under the national umbrella body Peace Ambassadors Kenya, among a  number of other projects.

‘In March this year I will be launching a programme called Through Mentorship. I intend to use mentorship to impart knowledge and empower young women on matters surrounding rape, gender based violence, FGM, sexual reproductive health and education. I want to do unto others what I wished was done for me growing up.’

Marylize describes herself as an activist first, and feminist, having made the choice even before she knew the words that described what she desires.

‘I am doing this for the rest of my life. I am willing and ready to be part of the solution.’


Please send us your Feedback, News Item, Confession, gossip or Dear Mckoy, Photos and/or Videos to our WhatsApp Number 1-876-353-1389 or Email [email protected]

Recently Published

Seduced my Sister Boyfriend - McKoy's News (2)

Dear Mckoy: My Boyfriend Has Too Many Women

Dear Mckoy: My Boyfriend Has Too Many Women–  I have been with my boyfriend almost two years now. He used to be a very awesome romantic, jovial guy that I was never too busy to attend to or annoyed to be around.  Sex was always excellent. As time passes I noticed his changes of attitude […]

Seduced my Sister Boyfriend - McKoy's News (1)

Dear Mckoy: I Don’t Love My Girlfriend Anymore

Dear Mckoy: I Don’t Love My Girlfriend Anymore– I have been with my girlfriend a little over a year now. When  we first started out I was really just attracted to her for her freakiness until I fell inlove with her. But I’m a man that enjoys  having lots of girls and I realized that […]

Seduced my Sister Boyfriend - McKoy's News

Dear Mckoy: Caught My Grandfather Sleeping With My Mother

Dear Mckoy: Caught My Grandfather Sleeping With My Mother– This is a little disturbing for me but I do need some advise. I grew up with my mother and grandparents. I have never met my father. I questioned my mom and grand parents about my father’s whereabouts but was told he died before my mom […]


Gov’t Officially Hands Over Management Of NMIA

Jamaica News: The management of the Norman Manley International Airport (NMIA) was officially handed over by the Government to PAC Kingston Airport Limited (PACKAL) on Wednesday (Oct. 16). Last October, the Airports Authority of Jamaica (AAJ) signed a 25-year concession agreement with Mexican firm Grupo Aeroportuario del Pacifico (GAP), for operation of the facility through […]


Government Committed to Fiscal Responsibility

Jamaica News: Prime Minister Andrew Holness says that the current business environment in Jamaica is the best it has been in decades as businesses reported profits that exceeded their expectations in the last quarter. Prime Minister Andrew Holness asserted that business owners should be confident, He says Government policies will be in favour of business […]


Flagstaff Community Centre In St. James Renovated

Jamaica News: Residents of Flagstaff in St. James now have the benefit of a newly renovated community centre, which was refurbished at a cost of $8.5 million. The facility was officially reopened by Local Government and Community Development Minister, Hon. Desmond McKenzie, on Wednesday (October 16). It incorporates several features that will facilitate the implementation […]

Scroll to Top