Failing Miserably as a Mom

Failing Miserably as a Mom

Dear McKoy,

I am a 20-year-old woman and I recently gave birth to my first child. I always wanted to be a mother ever since I was a little girl but it is not what I had expected it to be.

I’m financially stable as my daughter lacks nothing, but I am failing miserably at being a mother. I can’t help her when she cries and she is always crying, I don’t even know when she’s hungry or when she needs to be held. I have hired two nannies who work both day and night to take care of her. I don’t know what else to do.

Should I have given her up for adoption? Do you think I should still give her up for adoption? Do I need to take some Mommy and Me classes? Do you think I’m a bad mom? I need some advice as soon as possible. Please help me!


Response:You are not a bad mom. You are an inexperienced mom without the knowledge to care for her child. The bright side is you are capable of learning. You need to bond with your child.

The days and times when you are not at work, hold her, play with her, talk to her, feed her,  change her, sing to her and put her to sleep. It is like any new relationship. You need to get to know the person you are with and this person is your greatest gift. She is an extension of you. Babies cry when they are hungry and need changing. It is possible there is a developmental disorder. It is your job to determine. Have her evaluated.

Giving her up for adoption does not guarantee she will be in a better home with better people than you. Give it a chance.

Shena Carty

Photo by Andrae Ricketts on Unsplash


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