Dear Mckoy: Starved, My husband Does Not Want to be Intimate with Me

Dear McKoy,

My husband and I have been married for three years but for the past five months, he has not been getting intimate with me. He has changed so much, even to the point where he refuses to touch me while we sleep, by ensuring that he is far away on one side of the bed.

I have spoken to him about it but things remain the same. I try to touch him and he doesn’t respond. Now my problem is I have needs that must be fulfilled. I am frustrated, every time I go out and a guy hits on me I feel tempted to give them my number so that I can meet up, even if it is only once, to “quench my thirst”. At nights I’m so heated that I have to sleep with my pillow between my legs. Don’t know how much longer I can hold out for.

Starved, Kingston

Dear Starved: First of all, you will have to find out the real reason why he is not interested in physical intimacy with you. There can be a number of factors such as stress, illness, a sudden change to male preference, he may be seeing someone else, etc. 

Whatever the situation you have to open a discussion on the topic with him, let him know you need to know why he avoids making love to you. Tell him you need an answer in order to move forward. Also, let him know you are willing to stand by him if it has anything to do with stress or illness. You are required to make your own choices based on any other factors relating to the issue. 

Finally, do not resort to infidelity just because you have an urge. This choice can affect your marriage in so many ways. Try and resolve the issues impacting your marriage. If they can’t be resolved you can choose to get a divorce. 


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