Dear McKoy: I’m a 60-year-old man who lost my wife to illness last year. I’m presently in a relationship with a 20-year-old woman who has recently moved in with me. Everything was going on fine until she moved in. Even though we have sex multiple times per week, she just can’t be satisfied. If she feels her needs are not being met, she gets angry or sometimes even gets violent. She even went as far as telling me that if I didn’t eat or have sex with her as often as she wants, she is gonna find another man and move out. Our relationship has become strenuous and it’s taking a toll on me. I sometimes take viagra to keep up with her without her knowing. I love her and enjoy our intimacy, but I’m beginning to fear for our future. I love her and cherish our connection, but I’m beginning to have concerns about our future together.
Dear Devon: I can see that you are clearly terrified not only of the future, but of her as well. That’s unacceptably bad for you. You must feel safe in order to have true intimacy and to function sexually the way you desire, so it is critical to address this issue with her. Explain to her that you enjoy making love to her, but sometimes you feel pressured to perform. Pay attention to her and figure out what is most important to her. Is it for fun or does she really have a high sex drive? Also, take into consideration she is way younger than you so it will be harder for you to keep up.