Dear McKoy: I enjoy sex, but my husband and I have been sexually incompatible for 10 years. We have two children, a good relationship, we support each other, but our sexual connection is dull and boring. His body has never appealed to me physically, but he is a good man and I had no idea my sex life would be so horrible. He doesn’t spend much time with me in bed and within two minutes, he is out. I’ve only had one orgasm with him in 10 years. I used to try to fake it until I realized it wasn’t working. I just ran into an old boyfriend, and just thinking about him gets my body so heated and eager to be with him. At this point, I’m sexually frustrated and seriously considering having an affair. What should I do?
Dear Carlene: I’m sure you already know how risky it is to have an affair, so I don’t even bother to tell you not to do it. You’re also aware that you married someone to whom you have no physical attraction, and you must take the blame for that. It is not likely for sexual attraction to develop over time if it wasn’t there in the first place. It’s no surprise that seeing your ex ignited those flames and reminded you of what you’ve been missing! You have a family and I would advise you to speak to your husband about his shortcomings. Most men suffer from premature ejaculation nowadays, he can speak to his doctor and will likely come to a solution. There are other ways he can address this situation, for example, more foreplay to actually stimulate and excite you more to the point of satisfaction. Having an affair is your decision to make, you are the only one who can decide what is most important – and how to protect it.
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