Dear Mckoy: I am in such a stressful and embarrassing situation currently. I am the wife of a Pastor of a well-attended church in the western region of Jamaica. A lot of people look up to us and come to us with their problems; pity they don’t know that I have my serious demons.
I have been married to my husband for the past 8 years and he is older than me. In the beginning, his family gave me a warm time because they said I was too young and radical for him; only his son welcomed me. We would go to church pretending we are one big happy family when they secretly hated me. I guess because I was young and sexy. I was not their poppy show so the hate got more and more severe over the years.
At one point one of his family members came to live with us and I couldn’t deal with her disrespect. I was pouring it all out to his son and he would encourage me; he felt like my only friend. One day, the family member and I had a serious altercation and she called me a whore; to my surprise my husband had her staying there still. I decided that I needed some space so I went by his son’s home for like 2 months. At that time, the son’s wife accepted me and they took good care of me. I developed more respect for the son and we got closer.
I eventually forgave my husband and went back home just to save face at the church. Our relationship started dwindling down and the sparks went out the door. One Sunday morning when they left for church, his son came over and I was pouring out to him and just started bawling. He was hugging and consoling me when I just kissed him; he did not resist and the next thing I know, we were all over each other in my matrimonial bed. I have never experienced that level of lovemaking before; my stepson healed every broken bones in my body. The things he did to me were indescribable; I had so many orgasms in that little moment.
We started hiding and sleeping together; we played our secret roles very well. Things at home no longer bothered me because I was getting serviced by my stepson. Sometimes I would be on the pulpit and my stepson would be in the congregation texting me all the nasty things he was going to do with my body; sometimes I would just shout out hallelujah and I would see his face smiling in the congregation. I would be having sex with my husband like once a month but my stepson would explore me sensitive zones like twice a week.
I got very ill and my husband took me to the doctor, thinking it was Covid. He did the test but it was negative. He said he would run some tests to see the problem. When we went back for the results, I almost fainted when I heard that I was pregnant. My husband was so happy but I felt like disappearing because right then I knew it was for his son. When I told the son, he said whatever I choose to do he will support me but he would openly welcome his child. I am genuinely in love with my stepson and I don’t know what to do. He is suggesting that we divorce our partners and move away together to build our family. I am just thinking about abortion because of the impact all of this will have on my husband and his church. I am honestly confused and don’t know what to do.
Dear Miss: Reading your letter made me so sad; sad to know that there are persons like you in the church who are such blatant hypocrites. How could you be sitting on a supposed to be holy pulpit while performing those ungodly acts?
You said you wanted to save face for your husband’s church but this is bigger than that; you should be seriously worried about the whipping you are going to receive from God. I don’t think abortion is the way to go but I definitely agree that both you and your stepson should stay away from your partners; they deserve better. So the child you bring forth will be your stepson’s son and brother same time and your husband’s grandson? What a nasty entangled web this is. I pray God have mercy on both of you.