Dear McKoy: My Husband Wants to See Me in Bed with Other Men – I have been married for twenty years. My husband supports me through thick and thin, overall we have a successful marriage. The issue that I have is that a few years ago he said he wanted to add more flavor to our bedroom. He asked me if I would do a threesome with another man. I was skeptical about it but after he coaxed me for a couple of days, eventually I agreed.
So now whenever we get intimate he brings up the subject of other men sharing our bed. I told him it is not something I actually enjoy but he doesn’t seem to understand. As soon as we are getting intimate and he mentions it, I get turned off. When I shut down he gets angry.
How can I prevent my husband from leaving me for another woman who is willing to do what he wants? How do you think I can add more excitement to our bedroom life without bringing up the subject of a third person? I love him a lot and have invested so much in our marriage. Please tell me what to do.
Dear J: Both of you need to see a Licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a sex therapist. Enjoyment during sexual activity should be shared between couples. Many monogamous men fantasize about having an extra woman in bed. However, to the extent of your husband’s sexual fantasy to share you with another man, is saying something about his sexuality that I cannot address. Please speak with a therapist as soon as possible.