Dear McKoy: My husband and I have been married for three years, I am 30 and he is 41. We travel a lot and when we do, he likes going to quiet villas where we can walk around naked and have sex anywhere we please. During the pandemic, our life got boring and my husband suggested that we have a threesome because there was a limit to how adventurous we could be. He said that it would turn him on, seeing me with another man. I gladly agreed because I was open to anything.
I have a friend on Facebook that I know from high school days. We chat often, but nothing flirty. He is 31 single with no kids. He is a nice guy, so one day I got the courage to ask him if he liked me. He said yes, he always did. I ask him if he had ever done a threesome and he said once while he was in college. Then I blatantly asked if he would do a threesome with me and my husband and he said yes.
I was so happy, I couldn’t wait to tell my husband the good news. When I told him that I finally found someone for threesome, he started calling me a wh*re and that I had been cheating on him all along. Can you imagine all this anger when he was the one who said he wanted it. After all this happened, he is still coming to me about threesome, how do I handle this?
Kim
Dear Kim: Sorry that you are going through this rough patch in your marriage. I am not the one to judge what individuals choose to do in their relationships, however, I’m very skeptical of threesomes since they can lead to several issues, including insecurity and a loss of trust. While this strategy may work for some couples, your husband has already demonstrated that he is all talk and no action, which is a good thing. Outside of his threesome dream, though, there are some serious concerns in your marriage. Even though, you took him off guard with the actual planning, you didn’t deserve the abuse. He is the one who told you about the fantasy he had. Tell him that his behavior toward you was unacceptable, and that you need couples counseling to figure out what went wrong.