My Dad is Cheating: My mom and dad have been married for over 15 years. They have a fairly good marriage, they rarely quarrel and they go on dates on a regular basis. My dad is an excellent father who takes an active interest in my life, he always ensures I have whatever I need. He is a successful businessman who makes a lot of money. My mother on the other hand has always been a stay-at-home mom.
Our current neighbors (husband, wife and daughter) moved in about three years ago. Their daughter and I became best friends. Over time both families got so close that we started having dinner at each other’s homes.
I was messing with my dad’s phone last week and accidentally accessed his trash folder. There were nude photos of my dad and our neighbor’s wife in a bedroom that I didn’t recognize. For days now I have been depressed and angry. How could they betray mom like this? He doesn’t know that I have seen the photos and I haven’t noticed any changes in him. He’s still as kind and loving as ever.
I’m sorry that I came across the photos. Since it happened I have mostly kept myself in my room. I don’t go back to their house. It’s so hard to keep this secret from mom. This woman is having an affair with my dad and pretending to be mom’s friend. Should I confront my dad, tell my mom or keep it to myself? I really need help.
Dear M: I’m sorry for what you’re going through, you must feel very torn and hurt by all of this. If you feel that you should tell your mom and you feel comfortable doing that, then do so. None of this is your fault and it is not a weight to be carried by you. Why should you keep a secret that is tearing you up inside, for two adults who are behaving badly? Don’t worry that you will ruin your family. It is possible for your parents to work it out and your family will be ok. It’s unfortunate that the scars will always be there, but forgiveness is possible.