Dear McKoy: My Cousin Stole our Underwear: I’m 15 and I live with my mom and my sister who is 8. About four months ago my cousin came from the country to stay with us. Just after he came, I missed a red bra from my drawer. Few more weeks and some of my panties were gone missing. Then my mom started complaining about missing underwear. I was worried that maybe a thief had broken into our house. Then last weekend, I wanted to borrow an extension cord from his room but he was in the country spending time with his mother.
When I went into the room I realized I had to move the bed to unplug the cord. As I pushed the bed away I saw something hanging out of a bag that looked familiar. It was my bra that I was looking for a few months ago. I picked up the bag and there were some more items in it. I threw everything on the floor and to my surprise, there were more panties and bras inside. Some of them belonged to my mom, some for my sister, and of course mine as well. All of them were stained, crusty and smelled horrible. I almost vomit after realizing it was my cousin’s discharge. I put everything back in the bag and left his room quickly.
I haven’t told mom yet because I don’t know what to say to her. He will be 18 this month. I’m sure my mom will send him back home to his mother and they will hate me.
N. Allen
Dear N: I understand how this situation makes you feel and I know you don’t want to cause tension in the family, but your cousin needs help ASAP. Talk to your mother about what you found. This sort of conduct requires immediate attention before it gets worst. Please keep in mind that it is not your fault if the relationship between your family members is affected, as it most likely will be. It’s your cousin’s fault for his actions; not your fault that you spoke up.
Furthermore, your mother must also encourage his mother to bring him to see a qualified sex therapist. He has seriously overstepped his bounds, and he needs to find a more appropriate and constructive method to express himself.