Dear McKoy: My Boyfriend is Spending Too Much Money on his Gay Son

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Dear McKoy: My Boyfriend is Spending Too Much Money on his Gay Son (McKoy’s News) – My boyfriend James, is 52 and has a 22-year-old son. His son who is gay went to beauty school. My boyfriend paid for his tuition, a brand new car, boarding, insurance, allowance and cell phone bills. He finished school, moved back home, says he doesn’t really want to do hair anymore. He has never worked a day in his life. He totaled his car, and James enlisted me to find a new one for him in my spare time.

The other day he asked him to buy him a US$300 makeup tanning kit. My boyfriend is going through financial hardship and is stressed out with money. He gives me US$120 a week for allowance, and cash when I need it. But, I shop at thrift stores. Now, he wants me to give him my car — that he has loaned me because I totaled mine and have a lawsuit pending so he can see his boyfriend on weekends. His mom doesn’t help financially. I am 26 and have a 5-year-old son, and my boyfriend is a fully involved co-parent. But when it comes to his son, when will I have a say? After 2 years living together, I moved out because of this but we’re getting back together. We picked out a ring, and I’m moving in four weeks. But I’m worried.

Signed,
His Son Is A Problem

 

 

Dear His Son Is A Problem,

Second marriages are a lot more difficult than first marriages when there are children involved. Some might even say it is more difficult when adult kids are involved, this is because s many different personalities are involved. I don’t think it’s a good idea to move back in with your boyfriend until this situation is resolved. This may result in you putting your five-year-old in some unnecessary stuff and you have to put his needs first.

It seems your boyfriend is allowing his son to become completely dependent on him and this is definitely not good for an adult. He must be taught responsibility. While you are the girlfriend and not the stepmother, it is his responsibility to deal with him, not your responsibility. Even if you eventually become his son’s stepmother, you’ll be the step-mother of an adult child so you don’t get to talk to him about his behavior.

You guys will really need to sit down and discuss how you are feeling with your boyfriend. Maybe he will understand how you are feeling. Let us know how things turn out.

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