Dear McKoy: My Bestie Wants a Threesome with Her Man

I’m a twenty-year-old woman whose best friend is in a three-year serious relationship with her boyfriend. Their sex life is lacking, and they want to add another person to their bed and they invited me to join. I’m flattered and drawn to both of them; but, I’m afraid that this will only result in conflict between them as individuals and as a pair. What do you think I should do?

Confused

 

Dear confused: There is a lot to be said for enjoying sex when you are young. When you’re older, you’ll have a rich sexual back library to ‘read through’ on occasion, but most of the time, someone will feel used in these situations. The fact that you are thinking about the problems that may exist demonstrates your emotional maturity.

What is being requested of you is neither right nor wrong. What it means to you, on the other hand, is what actually matters. What looks to be a flattering and titillating game can often lead to a broken friendship.

If judgments, jealousies, or other insecurities occur as a result of giving yourself so freely to two people who already have each other, this mix could be catastrophic to your self-esteem or even theirs. If your friends are having problems, it’s far better they solve them before you fall into bed with them, so ask your best friend if this is actually what she wants. You are not a cure! Politely decline, there will always be jealousy and resentment. Fantasy is usually better than reality.

 

Ask Dear McKoy

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