Dear McKoy: I am living with my boyfriend and we have a son together. Our baby is four months old and his dad adores him so much. The thing is I’m beginning to realize that my baby looks more like my ex-boyfriend who is of mixed race. We were secretly seeing each other before we finally break up and I think he could have been the one that got me pregnant. My son has his complexion, his curly hair, and his facial features. He looks nothing like my boyfriend. Now I’m worried because he is getting older and I don’t know what to tell my boyfriend when he realizes his son’s features are not changing. We are planning to get married next year and I don’t want him to leave me because of this.
Dear Lisa: I am sorry you found yourself in this predicament, but try and keep calm. A baby’s face changes on a daily basis over the first year. If you have any doubts, the only way to find out is to do a DNA test. You can do it discreetly if you don’t want to break the news of your infidelity suddenly to him. Maybe you could try getting hair from his brush or comb and swab your son’s cheek. There are ways around this.
If the DNA proves that your assumption is right, the most important step is to make sure your child can communicate with his biological father. Also, your future husband has the right to know and determine whether or not he wishes to raise a child who is not biologically his. Find a way to do the DNA quickly for your own peace of mind. Don’t tell your girlfriends, parents, or ex… just do it and wait for the results. Best wishes.
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