Dear Mckoy: Giving My Neighbor Oral Sex To Help Care For My Child– I’m a 19-year-old mother of a three-year-old child. When my baby was one year old my baby father was murdered one night on his way home from work. Ever since then things have been very tough for me and my baby. I work at a restaurant but my salary can hardly maintain us and pay my rent. To make matters worst my baby is asthmatic and keeps getting sick quite often and sometimes puts my job at stake because my boss thinks I’m unsuitable for the job with a sick baby.
I brought my situation to my neighbour, and he offered to assist me with my baby, so I wouldn’t lose my job. At first, I asked him how much he was charging me, and he said nothing I can’t pay.
I insist on knowing how much, but he said I’m to just relax, and we would talk the Friday.
So I got home from work the Friday with the intention to pay him $2500 but upon approaching him he said PUT THAT IN YOU POCKET AND COME GIVE ME A HEADS. I was in a bit of shock and hesitate at first, he then said I like you and I know you don’t have it, I can’t take your money. Just save it to get food and pay your rent.
Eventually, I gave him oral sex. Since then, I have been giving him oral every time he asks for it.
But now I have met an old man that likes me a lot and ask that my child and I come and live with him and all I have to do is make his food and be his lady.
I told him of my present situation and that I have become tired of it but I have no help with my child, so I did it just, so I could keep my job and be sure my child was safe while I’m at work.
He said he understands. I want to take his offer but I’m a little confused and scared. Please I’m seeking some advice.
Thank you for writing. I know it takes great strength to express yourself like this. I hope you and your baby is well at this time as well.
In your current situation I know being confused is not something unique—many persons would be in this situation, and, you want to ensure the security of your child as well.
It is not common for men to use these situations and solicit sexual favours from women who are in a desperate situation, and, I would not trust anybody who does that. There are persons who are more willing to see you grow from that situation at no charge because they have real humanity. I believe your neighbour has sexual predatory tendencies and will soon become more aggressive in his demands. I also question the safety of your child in his care, therefore, I would recommend seeking a more viable solution for yourself and child.
In the case of the old man, I would recommend thinking about creating a work-contract with him instead of leaving your current security. You can have him pay you for your services—food preparation only. If he truly cares for you and does not want to take advantage of your situation, he would be okay with this.
Many men will approach you in your current situation to try to sexually exploit you. So, in my recommendation, any involvement you wish to establish should be done with scepticism.
In the interim, as you make your choices, I would recommend doing some research in natural remedies that can help your baby to build his/her immune system. This may help in the long term.
I would also recommend doing some extra skill upgrades to make yourself more marketable and thus boosting your wage income in the long term as well. You can contact HEART for such assistance.
Investigate investment options as well in the long term to you can create a long term plan for both your child and yourself.
I hope this helps.