Dear McKoy: Gave up My 4-year-old Daughter to Marry my Girlfriend – My girlfriend and I are in love. She’s an amazing woman, but she comes from a devout Christian family, while I, on the other hand, is a divorced single parent of a 4-year-old daughter. The problem is that my girlfriend’s family is against us getting married because I am a divorced man with a child. They’re that crazy. They said that they would disown her if we get married and they have even said that it makes them sick to see her with my child. She has asked me to give up my daughter so that we can get married and I love her so much that I have actually done it. Her mother left us for her new family when she was 5-months-old and I was the only parent she had. I have betrayed her though.
After all that we’ve been through she is still listening to her friends and is having second thoughts about going through with our marriage because they say that any man who would walk away from his child is not worth marrying. How can I convince her to marry me?
Devastated and Depressed
Dear Devastated and Depressed,
You shouldn’t have to convince a woman to marry you. When you start out a marriage trying to convince someone, it’s very unlikely the marriage will last past the altar.
There are lots of different ways that both people benefit from companionship and the reasons people come together to marry are uncountable because there are so many! So, if she doesn’t think that she’s going to benefit from marriage to you, even if it’s simply because her family’s values are more important, you should pay attention, instead of trying to convince her otherwise.
The most disturbing part of your query is that you not only dragged your child through this, but after her mother abandoned her, you did too, not because her life would be better without you, but because you want to marry this girl so much, you’d give her up even if it’s to your parents. You gave up your kid to chase after some foolish girl who isn’t willing to stand up to her family and marry you for who you are. It’s never a good idea to date a girl who isn’t able to accept you as a single father.
In just a few words, you need to let this woman go! She doesn’t deserve you.